Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

MACHINE HEAD Kicks Off Show with BLACK SABBATH Covers Honoring OZZY (Is This Real Life?)
Breaking, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Kicks Off Show with BLACK SABBATH Covers Honoring OZZY (Is This Real Life?)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

San Francisco Bay Area metallers MACHINE HEAD, bless their cotton socks, decided to honor Ozzy Osbourne by butchering two BLACK…

Coldplay Butchers ‘Changes’ in Bizarre Ozzy Osbourne Tribute, Fans Demand Refund
Breaking, Music News

Coldplay Butchers ‘Changes’ in Bizarre Ozzy Osbourne Tribute, Fans Demand Refund

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

LOL, as if anyone cares, COLDPLAY, those purveyors of beige boredom, “paid tribute” to Ozzy Osbourne by butchering BLACK SABBATH’s…

OMG! Lady Gaga Channels Her Inner Bat-Eating Rockstar: A Hilarious Tribute to Ozzy in San Fran
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Lady Gaga Channels Her Inner Bat-Eating Rockstar: A Hilarious Tribute to Ozzy in San Fran

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2025July 23, 2025

Pop “superstar” Lady Gaga, bless her heart, decided to “honor” the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, at the grand finale…

Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
Live, Music News

Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 22, 2025July 22, 2025

DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…

Ozzy Osbourne. 1948-2025
Videos

Ozzy Osbourne. 1948-2025

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 22, 2025

Drink in hell for us all, Ozzy! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)
Breaking, Music News

GWAR’s 40th: Streaming From the Hellmouth (Because VEEPS Pays the Bills)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Behold, feeble humans! Your 👽alien overlords in GWAR, those pioneers of making music that sounds like a garbage truck falling…

HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED Drops New Banger ‘Make The Demons Obey’ After Half a Decade, Demons Tremble in Fear

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Ah, HATEBREED, those stalwarts of Connecticut hardcore/metal (is there even a difference anymore?🤔), have finally graced us with new music…

WEDNESDAY 13 Proves Funerals Can Be a Blast With New “Rotting Away” Music Video
Breaking, Music News

WEDNESDAY 13 Proves Funerals Can Be a Blast With New “Rotting Away” Music Video

Chord F. DiscordJuly 21, 2025July 21, 2025

Behold! During his totally epic “Summer Blood Storm” European tour (because blood storms are TOTALLY a thing, right? 🙄), Wednesday…

Mike Shinoda: I Had Other Plans For Linkin Park (Like a Reunion Tour with a Hologram Chester)
Breaking, Music News

Mike Shinoda: I Had Other Plans For Linkin Park (Like a Reunion Tour with a Hologram Chester)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

OMG, you guys! LINKIN PARK, the band that peaked in 2000, is still trying to be relevant! Mike Shinoda, bless…

Witness the Sheer Genius of METALLICA’s ‘M72’ Tour (feat Video Nerds and a Thingy Called PIXERA)
Breaking, Music News

Witness the Sheer Genius of METALLICA’s ‘M72’ Tour (feat Video Nerds and a Thingy Called PIXERA)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2025July 20, 2025

METALLICA, those lovable dinosaurs of thrash 🦖, are apparently still touring. And get this, their “M72” tour, which sounds suspiciously…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 127 128 129 … 174 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Now Ruining Lakes and Legends One Ego Trip at Time
  • Alaska Voters Delightfully Confused By Two Dan Sullivans
  • Taylor Swift Honors Country Icon Dolly Parton
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 26 2026
  • Trump Scrapes Together South Carolina Win Somehow

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.