Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

OSCAR GARCIA’s TERRORIZER LA Wastes Everyone’s Time at ‘End Meaningless Noise Vol 3’ in the City of Angels
Breaking, Music News

OSCAR GARCIA’s TERRORIZER LA Wastes Everyone’s Time at ‘End Meaningless Noise Vol 3’ in the City of Angels

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

So, get this: Vocalist Oscar Garcia’s ego trip, I mean, version of TERRORIZER, cleverly disguised as TERRORIZER LA (because originality…

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham
Breaking, Music News

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Metal Pilgrim has uploaded a full video tour of the the Ozzy Osbourne “Working Class Hero” exhibition, which opened in…

TESTAMENT’s CHRIS DOVAS Proves He Can Hit Things With Sticks In New Drum-Cam Video From Down Under
Breaking, Music News

TESTAMENT’s CHRIS DOVAS Proves He Can Hit Things With Sticks In New Drum-Cam Video From Down Under

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Newbie drummer Chris Dovas (ex-SEVEN SPIRES, who?) just dropped a drum-cam video of him butchering “D.N.R. (Do Not…

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

OMG! SLAYER, those “retired” thrash metal legends (air quotes for dramatic effect), graced us with their presence at Blackweir Fields…

‘Spinal Tap’ Director Hilariously Roasts BLACK SABBATH’s Brains After Band Mistakenly Thinks Stonehenge Scene Was Ripped Off From Them
Breaking, Music News

‘Spinal Tap’ Director Hilariously Roasts BLACK SABBATH’s Brains After Band Mistakenly Thinks Stonehenge Scene Was Ripped Off From Them

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

Rob Reiner, the cinematic genius 🙄 behind the *cough* “iconic” mockumentary “This Is Spinal Tap”, has *dared* to criticize the…

Judas Priest Milks ‘Painkiller’ for 35th Time at Some Italian Thingy
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest Milks ‘Painkiller’ for 35th Time at Some Italian Thingy

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

So, Judas Priest, those geriatric metal gods, apparently graced Italy with their presence at the Ferrara Summer Festival. 🙄 Yes,…

Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before
Breaking

Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Folks, get ready for the most epic, most groundbreaking, most Zetro-riffic event of the millennium! 🎤 Steve “Zetro” Souza, the…

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity
Breaking

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

So, IRON MAIDEN’s very own air raid siren, Bruce Dickinson, is gracing us with a “reworked” version of his ’90s…

GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture
Breaking, Music News

GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

GHOST, the *totally* underground Swedish rock band (yeah, right), is gracing the U.S. with its presence on the “Skeletour” world…

The Gathering’s ‘Mandylion’ Reunion: Still Kicking (Barely) in the Netherlands
Breaking, Music News

The Gathering’s ‘Mandylion’ Reunion: Still Kicking (Barely) in the Netherlands

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, look, it’s THE GATHERING, dusting off their “Mandylion” album for a 30th-anniversary cash grab! 💰 Featuring the legendary (debatable)…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 149 150 151 … 188 Next

Latest posts

  • China’s Secret Agent Apparently Didn’t Get The Memo
  • Southern Georgia Block Party Apparently Not That Fun This Year
  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.