Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

JOHN 5 and WEDNESDAY 13 team up because you clearly didnt have enough mediocre guitar riffs in your life
Breaking, Music News

JOHN 5 and WEDNESDAY 13 team up because you clearly didnt have enough mediocre guitar riffs in your life

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic collaboration of the century? 🤯 I mean, it’s not like…

XENTRIX Still Making Music Because You Clearly Asked For It
Breaking, Music News

XENTRIX Still Making Music Because You Clearly Asked For It

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤩 I just can’t contain my excitement… U.K. thrash veterans…

BREAKING IN A SEQUENCE saves music with new single Dont Run obviously
Breaking, Music News

BREAKING IN A SEQUENCE saves music with new single Dont Run obviously

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 BREAKING IN A SEQUENCE just dropped a new single, “Don’t Run”,…

Laniidae in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
Videos

Laniidae in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 2, 2026August 17, 2026

Modern metalcore/hardcore from Charlotte, NC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

GODSMACK Appears To 700,000 People At Poland’s POL’AND’ROCK FESTIVAL
Breaking, Music News

GODSMACK Appears To 700,000 People At Poland’s POL’AND’ROCK FESTIVAL

Chord F. DiscordAugust 2, 2026August 2, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mind-blowing news? 🤯 I just found out that GODSMACK headlined the 32nd…

Enemies & Allies in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
Videos

Enemies & Allies in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 2, 2026August 17, 2026

Metalcore/rock band from Charlotte, NC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

American Theory in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
Videos

American Theory in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 2, 2026August 17, 2026

Post-hardcore/metalcore from Charlotte, NC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Blade Runner 2099 materializes with teaser and release date at SDCC
Breaking, Movie News

Blade Runner 2099 materializes with teaser and release date at SDCC

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 1, 2026August 1, 2026

In a world where reboots and remakes reign supreme, it’s no surprise that Prime Video is diving headfirst into the…

Ancient Nu Metal Dudes Drowning Pool And Saliva Reunite To Confuse Millennials
Breaking, Music News

Ancient Nu Metal Dudes Drowning Pool And Saliva Reunite To Confuse Millennials

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for a blast from the past? 🤯 Because I’m not sure if I am.…

W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe

Chord F. DiscordJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤩 W.A.S.P. is working on new music! 🎸 I know,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 25 26 27 … 188 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump’s Charm Fails To Woo Latino Voters This Time Around
  • Baby Painted Purple For Vikings Game
  • Metallica Unleash New Setlist at Sphere Night Two
  • Nation’s Forests Slowly Turning Into Giant Barbecues Apparently
  • Atreyu returns because your early 2000s emo phase never really ended

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.