Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: metal

Frozen Soul in Charlotte, NC (11/28/2025)
Videos

Frozen Soul in Charlotte, NC (11/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 29, 2025

Death Metal from Fort Worth, Texas Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Tribal Gaze in Charlotte, NC (11/28/2025)
Videos

Tribal Gaze in Charlotte, NC (11/28/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 28, 2025

Death Metal from Longview, Texas Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Breaking, Music News

James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…

Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, and Dark Funeral: The “We’re Still Alive?” Tour – October 2026
Live, Music News

Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, and Dark Funeral: The “We’re Still Alive?” Tour – October 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Get ready to sell your souls (again)! BEHEMOTH and DIMMU BORGIR, the ultimate poser bands of extreme metal,…

Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!
Breaking, Music News

Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

GOJIRA, those Frenchie prog-metallers who think they’re saving the planet one chug at a time, apparently kicked off a tour…

Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Jeff Loomis, the guitar wizard (or should we say, wizard’s apprentice?) of the shredtastic realm, just yapped about…

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL
Breaking, Music News

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Bassist Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, the only reason Norwegian black metallers MAYHEM haven’t faded into obscurity, deigned to speak to Mexico’s…

HELLOWEEN Cancels Asian Tour Because Michael Kiske Ate Too Much Wasabi
Breaking, Music News

HELLOWEEN Cancels Asian Tour Because Michael Kiske Ate Too Much Wasabi

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

OMG! 🎃 Seems like those geriatric German power metallers 🤘 from HELLOWEEN 🧙‍♀️ have had to CANCEL their eagerly (not…

SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA’s Last Ever European Show (Until the Next One) is a ‘Must-Miss’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sepultura, those ancient Brazilians👴 with their didgeridoos and tribal beats🥁, are STILL around? After, like, FOUR DECADES of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 63 64 65 … 151 Next

Latest posts

  • NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Washington D.C. Sees Sudden Drop to No Crime Under President Trump
  • NEW TRANSMISSION Micron pours first concrete at New York fab in US investment push
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: Micron invests $250 billion creating 100000 American jobs
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Micron to invest 250 billion dollars in US memory chip production

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}