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Tag: Minions

Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spider-Man Breaks Box Office Records Again Because Of Course It Does

Big ElephantAugust 2, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the box office numbers, and I’ve got to say, it’s a wild…

Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow
Breaking, Movie News

Disney’s Latest Soulless Cash Grab Underperforms At The Box Office Somehow

FinnJuly 12, 2026July 12, 2026

We have our answer to the question of how far the live-action remake of Moana would go. And that answer…

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters
Breaking, Movie News

Kids More Discerning Than Hollywood Execs Review Minions & Monsters

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

The Minions Have Conquered the Box Office, But Can They Conquer Our Hearts (And Also, Do They Have Genitals?) Well,…

Stunning Another Generic Epic Made To Separate You From Money
Breaking, Movie News

Stunning Another Generic Epic Made To Separate You From Money

FinnJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Remember when Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey was going to “skip social media influencer screenings” and go straight to professional critics?…

Minions and Monsters Bombs Because Of Course It Did This Weekend
Breaking, Movie News

Minions and Monsters Bombs Because Of Course It Did This Weekend

FinnJuly 6, 2026July 6, 2026

Audiences have finally stopped going bananas for the Minions, and it’s about time. The latest installment in the franchise, Minions…

Because What The World Needed Was Another Superhero Showdown Apparently
Supergirl's Underwhelming Debut: A Bird, a Plane, No, Just a Mediocre Box Office Performance
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The World Needed Was Another Superhero Showdown Apparently

FinnJune 28, 2026June 28, 2026

The latest DC Comics film, Supergirl, has taken to the skies, but its opening weekend box office numbers are more…

Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

Big ElephantJune 20, 2026June 20, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, the fake news media is at it again, trying to disparage our great President Donald Trump,…

Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news saying Trump can’t spin Iran deal as huge win somehow

Big ElephantJune 19, 2026June 19, 2026

Oh boy, are the fake news outlets going to have a field day with this one! As of 2026, our…

Pete Hegseth finally fixing Europe’s deadbeat NATO freeloader problem somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pete Hegseth finally fixing Europe’s deadbeat NATO freeloader problem somehow

Big ElephantJune 18, 2026June 18, 2026

Oh, great, just what we need, another “article” from the fake news media trying to tear down our great nation…

New York City ready to celebrate Knicks withticker-tape parade
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New York City ready to celebrate Knicks withticker-tape parade

Big ElephantJune 18, 2026June 18, 2026

Oh boy, folks, it’s a beautiful day to be an American, and I’m thrilled to report on the latest “scandals”…

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