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Tag: money

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH Announces Massive 2026 North American Leg Of 20th-Anniversary Tour
Breaking, Events, Music News

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH Announces Massive 2026 North American Leg Of 20th-Anniversary Tour

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 13, 2026January 13, 2026

Brace your eardrums and your wallets, because the undisputed titans of “Did we just write another radio rock banger about…

Financial Glow-Up: Because Getting Rich Slowly is Apparently a Workshop Now
Events

Financial Glow-Up: Because Getting Rich Slowly is Apparently a Workshop Now

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 12, 2026

🚨 FREE LIVE WORKSHOP ALERT 🚨 Discover how to invest and build your wealth like a pro (or at least…

Trump officials spot fraud in their morning coffee, everywhere they look—here’s the wild truth
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump officials spot fraud in their morning coffee, everywhere they look—here’s the wild truth

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump Admin Declares War on Government Waste After TikTok Star Exposes Massive Fraud in Minnesota Daycare Scandal In what can…

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78
Breaking, Music News

Bob Weir of Grateful Dead Finally Gives Up the Ghost at 78

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Bobby Weir Finally Checks Out After 78 Years of Confusing Audiences With That One Chord 🚨 In a…

SNOT Finally Got a New Singer ANDY KNAPP and Spat Out Five Songs—Album Info Will Probably Drop When Hell Freezes Over
Breaking, Music News

SNOT Finally Got a New Singer ANDY KNAPP and Spat Out Five Songs—Album Info Will Probably Drop When Hell Freezes Over

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: SNOT COMPLETES FIVE NEW SONGS, REVOLUTIONIZES HEAVY METAL (OR AT LEAST THEIR GARAGE) 🚨 🤘🎸 In a shocking…

How AI Can Save Small Businesses Time and Money (Or Just Give Them More Time to Scroll TikTok)
Events

How AI Can Save Small Businesses Time and Money (Or Just Give Them More Time to Scroll TikTok)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 11, 2026

🚨BREAKING: NJ Business Action Center Hosts AI Webinar to Teach Small Biz Owners How to Not Get Replaced by Robots…

A New ‘Jackass’ Movie Is Coming This Summer Because Apparently We Haven’t Learned Our Lesson
Breaking, Movie News

A New ‘Jackass’ Movie Is Coming This Summer Because Apparently We Haven’t Learned Our Lesson

FinnJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Johnny Knoxville Reports That Pain Is Back, And So Is Jackass 🚨 😱💥 In a move that shocked absolutely…

HELIX’s BRIAN VOLLMER Says Retirement Is For People Who Can’t Rock An Air Guitar In Their Sleep
Breaking, Music News

HELIX’s BRIAN VOLLMER Says Retirement Is For People Who Can’t Rock An Air Guitar In Their Sleep

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

HELIX’s Brian Vollmer, 70-something and still belting like a banshee who just found out her favorite coffee shop switched to…

US will take Greenland the ‘hard way’ if it can’t do it the ‘easy way,’ Trump says
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US will take Greenland the ‘hard way’ if it can’t do it the ‘easy way,’ Trump says

Big ElephantJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

Trump’s Greenland Gambit: The Great Socialist Conspiracy to Hand Over America’s Future to China and Russia In a stunning display…

Your 2026 Investment Playbook: Because Losing Money Has Never Been More Fun
Events

Your 2026 Investment Playbook: Because Losing Money Has Never Been More Fun

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 10, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Kevin Gordon will explain why your portfolio is sad while Richard Flynn pretends UK investors care about US…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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