I Clearly Have Nothing Better to Do with My Life So I Decided to Drink the Nastiest Thing in the Galaxy aka Star Wars Blue Milk
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… 🚀👽 a man named George Lucas created a film called…
Tag: movies
Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life
Get ready for another epic failure in the Resident Evil movie franchise, because why not, right? 🙄 We’ve had like,…
Trump Demands Jimmy Kimmel Be Thrown Into the Depths of Unemployment for Daring to Make a Joke That Was Actually Funny About Melania Being a Widow, How Dare He
The latest news is that President Trump is having a major meltdown because someone made a joke about him, and…
Oh Joy Another Thriller with Overpaid Actors Like Anne Hathaway, Dakota Johnson and Josh Hartnett Who Will Probably Overact Their Way Through the Entire Movie Verity
The most epic, life-changing, and utterly unnecessary movie news ever: Verity is coming to cinemas! 🎥👀 I mean, who needs…
Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…
Why Was ‘Gen V’ Canceled Because Apparently Zombies and Superheroes Aren’t Cool Anymore
So, you’re wondering why Gen V was canceled? Well, join the club, folks, because apparently, a lot of people are…
Breaking News: Adult Still Watching Cartoons Gets Busted for Leaking Sweet sweet Avatar Action
A man in Singapore has been arrested for leaking the upcoming animated movie The Legend of Aang: The Last Airbender…
Square Enix Because Clearly What The World Needed Was More Overpriced Coffee And Final Fantasy Merch To Go With Their Existential Crisis
Okay, okay, gamers, calm down! We know you’re all super excited about the latest news from Square Enix, but let’s…
Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything
The drama, the excitement, the utter chaos that is the Michael Jackson biopic! 🎬👀 It’s like a never-ending soap opera,…
CLUELESS Sequel Series Abruptly Cancelled Because Nobody Was Actually Clueless About How Bad The Idea Was
Breaking news, folks: the Clueless sequel series that no one really asked for is not happening at Peacock 🙅♀️. I…