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Tag: movies

Stephen King Movies: According to This Guy (Who Thinks He’s a Critic)
Breaking

Stephen King Movies: According to This Guy (Who Thinks He’s a Critic)

FinnMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

Oh, sweet merciful crap, another Stephen King adaptation? 🙄 As if we needed more nightmare fuel for our already messed-up…

3 HBO/Max Movies So Bad They’re Good (Or Maybe Just Bad), Watch at Your Own Risk
Breaking

3 HBO/Max Movies So Bad They’re Good (Or Maybe Just Bad), Watch at Your Own Risk

FinnMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

The end of May usually means a few things: school is ending, work vacations are happening, and there are tons…

Crash Bandicoot Flick? Beg Xbox, Says The Last Of Us Overlord
Breaking

Crash Bandicoot Flick? Beg Xbox, Says The Last Of Us Overlord

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Oh, sweet irony! 🤣 Neil Druckmann, the guy who brought us the gritty, emotionally-scarring masterpiece that is The Last of…

Movie Review: ‘Mountainhead’ – Jesse Armstrong’s Tech Bro-pocalypse: You’ll Wish You Were Watching ‘Succession’
Breaking

Movie Review: ‘Mountainhead’ – Jesse Armstrong’s Tech Bro-pocalypse: You’ll Wish You Were Watching ‘Succession’

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Oh, sweet, merciful Bezos! 🙏 The “Succession” guy, Jesse Armstrong, is back at it again, bless his little heart. He’s…

Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking
Breaking

Hayley Atwell’s Finest Performances: A Totally Unbiased and Accurate Ranking

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

Ah, Hayley Atwell, the actress who’s been in stuff. Yes, after, like, five years (or was it five decades? 🤷‍♂️),…

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)
Breaking

Netflix’s “Knives Out 3” Solved by Yours Truly (I’m Basically Benoit Blanc, Bow Down)

FinnMay 29, 2025May 29, 2025

**OMG! 😱 Knives Out just dropped a teaser for Wake Up Dead Man, and like, I totally cracked the code.…

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)
Breaking

Charli XCX’s Brain Explodes With Genius Idea for Final Destination Sequel (And We’re Totally Not Rolling Our Eyes)

FinnMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Dear, oh dear, are we seriously calling this the *Final Destination* summer? 🙄 Like, hasn’t death been trendy since, like,…

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess
Breaking

Keanu’s a Clumsy Angel? Good Fortune Looks Like a Heavenly Mess

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 28, 2025May 28, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because the trailer for Good Fortune just dropped, and it’s about as original as a…

Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’
Breaking

Oh Great, Another Witch Flick: Joey King Might Ruin ‘Practical Magic’

FinnMay 26, 2025May 26, 2025

Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re about to dive headfirst into the cinematic dumpster fire that is…*drumroll*…’Practical Magic 2′! 🧙‍♀️🔮…

Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!
Breaking

Oh Noes! More Time to Panic About Those Comic Book Thingies Being Late!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the Marvel Cinematic Universe-ity. Those “epic” Avengers movies, Doomsday and Secret Wars, have been…

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