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Tag: News

5 Things You NEED to Know on July 28th (Or the World Might Explode)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You NEED to Know on July 28th (Or the World Might Explode)

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to undermine our GREAT President Trump! First up, a…

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…

Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along
Breaking, Music News

Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

PUSCIFER, the pretentious art-rock collective fronted by wine-slinging overlord Maynard James Keenan, along with his sidekicks Mat Mitchell and Carina…

Europe and Trump Finally Agree on Something, World Still Ends Tomorrow
Elephant Reads CNN

Europe and Trump Finally Agree on Something, World Still Ends Tomorrow

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Another day, another win for President Trump! The Fake News CNN is trying to downplay it, but our fearless leader…

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

According to Vital Vegas, METALLICA, those geriatric thrashers, are “ready to ink a deal for a Sphere residency” in Las…

GOP Lawmakers Throwing Shade Like Epstein’s Island Tan
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Lawmakers Throwing Shade Like Epstein’s Island Tan

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Well, folks, the Fake News at CNN is at it again, trying to stir up drama and division among Republicans…

Oh great, another “most consequential week” according to CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Oh great, another “most consequential week” according to CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Well, well, well, looks like the liberal media at CNN is in a tizzy! They’re trying to scare you folks…

CNN Politics: You call this a political landscape? We call it a clown convention
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Politics: You call this a political landscape? We call it a clown convention

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Oh, the agony of these so-called “polls”! It’s like the liberal media is desperately trying to find something, anything, to…

Dork Does Dumb Stunt in a Dirigible- CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Dork Does Dumb Stunt in a Dirigible- CNN

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Another day, another puff piece from Fake News CNN, this time fawning over a glorified balloon! They call it the…

**Woof Times: Pawsitively Ruff Economy Forces Furry Friends into Foreclosure**
Elephant Reads CNN

**Woof Times: Pawsitively Ruff Economy Forces Furry Friends into Foreclosure**

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

The Liberal Media is at it again, folks! CNN is now blaming President Trump’s booming economy for people surrendering their…

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