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Tag: News

83-Year-Old Boomer Convicted of Whacking Uber Driver After Dubious Tip Theory
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

83-Year-Old Boomer Convicted of Whacking Uber Driver After Dubious Tip Theory

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Tragic Ohio Tragedy Shows the Devastating Consequences of Crooked Joe Biden’s Inflation and Open Border Policies, Says President Trump In…

Civil Rights Probe Into Heroic ICE Officer’s Hilariously Brief Investigation into Shooting Renee Good Gets Shuffled to Nowhere; Family Lawyer Has a Sarcastic Quip
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Civil Rights Probe Into Heroic ICE Officer’s Hilariously Brief Investigation into Shooting Renee Good Gets Shuffled to Nowhere; Family Lawyer Has a Sarcastic Quip

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Another Day, Another Democrat Family Grieving Thanks to Biden’s Open Borders and Weak-on-Crime Policies! Well, folks, turn off the mainstream…

The New York Game Awards 2026 Winners Have Been Revealed: Silicon Alley’s Finest Pretend We Care About Their Opinions!
Breaking, Games News

The New York Game Awards 2026 Winners Have Been Revealed: Silicon Alley’s Finest Pretend We Care About Their Opinions!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Hold onto your controllers and prepare your most smug takes, because the NYVGCC just finished their 15th annual ceremony where…

Report: Xbox Cloud Gaming Could Get Free Ad-Supported Tier This Year Because Who Doesn’t Love Unskippable Ads During Boss Fights
Breaking, Games News

Report: Xbox Cloud Gaming Could Get Free Ad-Supported Tier This Year Because Who Doesn’t Love Unskippable Ads During Boss Fights

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 Grab your popcorn and prepare your wallet for the “Are You Still Watching?” screen from hell, because Microsoft is…

How to Make a Killing: Glen Powell Murders His Way Through a Dysfunctional Dynasty in the New Trailer for the ‘Kind Hearts and Coronets’ Remake
Breaking, Movie News

How to Make a Killing: Glen Powell Murders His Way Through a Dysfunctional Dynasty in the New Trailer for the ‘Kind Hearts and Coronets’ Remake

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Glen Powell has decided to make a literal killing because apparently, running from The Running Man or…

MEGADETH Drops ‘Puppet Parade’ and Proves They Still Have Strings Attached to the 80s
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Drops ‘Puppet Parade’ and Proves They Still Have Strings Attached to the 80s

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE THRASH GODS! 🚨 Dave Mustaine Has Officially Announced MEGADETH’s Final Album, and Yes, It Includes…

Spain’s Rail System Derails Dozens, But Hey At Least the Tomatoes are Juicy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Spain’s Rail System Derails Dozens, But Hey At Least the Tomatoes are Juicy

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

Of course the globalist train system in Spain failed—probably rigged by the Deep State to distract from Trump’s booming economy!…

Dumb Drivers Treat Michigan Snow Like Mario Kart Rainbow Road, Create 100-Car DLC Crash
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Dumb Drivers Treat Michigan Snow Like Mario Kart Rainbow Road, Create 100-Car DLC Crash

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

LIBERAL WEATHER MACHINE FAILS AGAIN: Massive Michigan Pileup Proves Global Warming is a Hoax! In another spectacular failure of liberal…

5 big takeaways from CNN’s totally non-biased, definitely not-rigged, definitely-not-trying-to-get-clicks poll of Trump’s first year
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 big takeaways from CNN’s totally non-biased, definitely not-rigged, definitely-not-trying-to-get-clicks poll of Trump’s first year

Big ElephantJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

The Fake News CNN Poll Results Are In, And It’s All Fake News, Folks! President Trump Is Doing Better Than…

Mike Pence Skewers Trump’s Absolutely Bonkers Plan to Buy Greenland
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mike Pence Skewers Trump’s Absolutely Bonkers Plan to Buy Greenland

Big ElephantJanuary 18, 2026January 18, 2026

Conservatives across the country are saying it: Mike Pence has officially joined the Deep State resistance. Here’s the truth about…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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