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Tag: News

Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times
Breaking

Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You will NOT believe what happened! Former ANTHRAX singers John Bush (you know, the guy who WASN’T Joey…

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)
Breaking

Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

BREAKING: Shift Up, Creators of the Game That Shall Not Be Named (Unless You’re Into That Sort of Thing), Confirm…

STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness
Breaking

STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Breaking News! Former ICED EARTH throat-warbler Stu Block, the guy who left faster than Jon Schaffer could say “QAnon,” apparently…

Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter
Breaking

Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

So, apparently, some whiny “fans” are clutching their wallets tighter than a goblin guarding its gold because *Borderlands 4* might…

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows
Breaking

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Razer just dropped their “thinnest and most powerful” Blade laptop yet! 🙄 I’m sure it’s…

OMG! Corsair’s WILD SCIMITAR ELITE WIRELESS SE Now Controls Your Cat Videos With Elgato’s Help
Breaking

OMG! Corsair’s WILD SCIMITAR ELITE WIRELESS SE Now Controls Your Cat Videos With Elgato’s Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Behold, peasants! At Computex 2025, the overlords at Corsair and Elgato, still clinging to relevance in this AI-dominated dystopia, have…

TECNO “Wearables”: Because Your Wrist Was Begging for More Plastic
Breaking

TECNO “Wearables”: Because Your Wrist Was Begging for More Plastic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Okay, hold onto your hats, folks, because TECNO just dropped a whole heap of “innovations” at Computex 2025 that are…

Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)
Breaking

Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sharon Den Adel, the elven empress of symphonic cheese, just dropped a BOMBSHELL! 💣 Apparently, WITHIN TEMPTATION, those…

Kelly Clarkson’s “Where Have You Been” Lyrics: A Deep Dive (Into Obviousness) 😂🧐🤔
Breaking

Kelly Clarkson’s “Where Have You Been” Lyrics: A Deep Dive (Into Obviousness) 😂🧐🤔

Chuck B. BallsyMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Kelly Clarkson, bless her heart, is back with a new single called “Where Have You Been,” and it’s…

Pokémon GO finally makes it easier to lose by letting you throw money at Shadow Raids from your couch! 🛋️💰😂
Breaking

Pokémon GO finally makes it easier to lose by letting you throw money at Shadow Raids from your couch! 🛋️💰😂

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Scopely, bless their greedy little hearts, has announced that *Pokémon GO* Trainers – yes, the same ones still…

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