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Tag: Nope

Trump’s Master Deal Making Skills: Nope, Says America
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Master Deal Making Skills: Nope, Says America

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump has been trying to sell the Iran war…

Tom Cruise’s Digger gets October 2 release date because Hollywood needs more egos
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Cruise’s Digger gets October 2 release date because Hollywood needs more egos

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 13, 2026

Get ready for the most explosive, potentially disastrous film of the year – Digger, starring the one and only Tom…

Id Software had genius ideas before corporate geniuses laid them off obviously
Breaking, Games News

Id Software had genius ideas before corporate geniuses laid them off obviously

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, id Software was working on some new projects before the latest…

Mortal Shell 2 Because One Wasnt Enough Apparently
Breaking, Games News

Mortal Shell 2 Because One Wasnt Enough Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2026July 8, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, Cold Symmetry is back with a new trailer for Mortal Shell…

Oh Great Another Movie About Girls Who Clearly Have Their Lives Together and Never Make Poor Life Choices – Get Ready for the Utterly Relatable and Not At All Formulaic Stoner Comedy Starring Kristen Stewart and Alia Shawkat
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Great Another Movie About Girls Who Clearly Have Their Lives Together and Never Make Poor Life Choices – Get Ready for the Utterly Relatable and Not At All Formulaic Stoner Comedy Starring Kristen Stewart and Alia Shawkat

FinnJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

The most epic film of the century is coming, and I’m not even being sarcastic (or am I?) 🤣! The…

Danny Elfman saves rock music with upcoming tour apparently nobody asked for
Breaking, Live, Music News

Danny Elfman saves rock music with upcoming tour apparently nobody asked for

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2026July 7, 2026

Oh boy, oh boy! Get ready for the most epic tour of 2026, folks! 🤩 Danny Elfman, the mastermind behind…

Microsoft Liberates 4800 Employees From Their Paychecks Immediately
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Liberates 4800 Employees From Their Paychecks Immediately

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Oh boy, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Microsoft is laying off about 4,800 employees, which is…

Tiny plane takes unplanned swim in East River
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tiny plane takes unplanned swim in East River

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a seaplane that made a hard landing in the East River between…

You won’t believe who’s talking to Iran now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

You won’t believe who’s talking to Iran now

Big ElephantJuly 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. US and Iranian officials are having indirect, lower-level talks in Doha,…

SCOTUS Smacks Down Donald On Birthright Citizenship Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

SCOTUS Smacks Down Donald On Birthright Citizenship Again

Big ElephantJune 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court just ruled that President Donald Trump’s administration can’t…

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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