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Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Movie About a Guy Who Turns into a Furry Little Dog Man to Terrorize Medieval Villages courtesy of that Super Original Guy Robert Eggers

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic and thrilling experience of your life? 😂 I mean, who…

Gregor Mackintosh credits sense of humor for not killing bandmates yet
Breaking, Music News

Gregor Mackintosh credits sense of humor for not killing bandmates yet

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2026June 29, 2026

OH NO, PARADISE LOST IS STILL TOGETHER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!! 🤯 I guess that’s what happens when you have…

Ann Wilson tells young musicians to abandon all hope and relationships now
Breaking News: Ann Wilson Gives Advice to Young Artists, and Honestly, It's a Miracle She Didn't Tell Them to Run Away Screaming 🙅‍♀️
Breaking, Music News

Ann Wilson tells young musicians to abandon all hope and relationships now

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2026June 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some brutal honesty from one of rock’s most iconic voices? 🤯 Ann Wilson,…

Big Elephant here, Isha Sesay takes world news by storm somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Big Elephant here, Isha Sesay takes world news by storm somehow

Big ElephantJune 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Isha Sesay, the former CNN anchor who spent years bringing global stories…

Finally, America beats China with cheaper AI glasses apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Finally, America beats China with cheaper AI glasses apparently

Big ElephantJune 23, 2026June 23, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
Breaking, Music News

TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2026June 23, 2026

Breaking News: Tom Keifer Still Exists and is Making Music, Somehow 🤯 Oh boy, are you guys ready for some…

RINO Alan Greenspan finally kicks the bucket at 100
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

RINO Alan Greenspan finally kicks the bucket at 100

Big ElephantJune 22, 2026June 22, 2026

Oh, great, another fake news article trying to besmirch the good name of our glorious President Donald Trump, who, as…

SEGA Finally Decides to Explain What the Heck Theyre Doing with GenAI in Crazy Taxi: World Tour Because Apparently Nobody Had a Clue
Breaking, Games News

SEGA Finally Decides to Explain What the Heck Theyre Doing with GenAI in Crazy Taxi: World Tour Because Apparently Nobody Had a Clue

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 8, 2026June 8, 2026

The world of gaming is about to get a whole lot crazier, folks, and not just because of the impending…

DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years
Breaking, Music News

DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat! 🎉🤩 David Draiman, the lead vocalist of DISTURBED, has just announced…

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway

FinnMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Suddenly, movie theaters are cool again, and we’re not talking about the kind of cool where your grandma thinks they’re…

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Latest posts

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  • It Ends – Just Kidding It’s Only the Beginning of Your Never Ending Nightmare and Also There’s a Sequel Coming Probably

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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