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Tag: Origin

Long Island school district single-handedly saves America from Woke Sports Mascots, becomes Trump’s personal playground
Elephant Reads CNN

Long Island school district single-handedly saves America from Woke Sports Mascots, becomes Trump’s personal playground

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

Oh, the woke mob is at it again, folks! This time, they’re coming for the Massapequa Chiefs, a Long Island…

WITHERING SCORN (LOL!): Ex-MEGADETH, FATES WARNING Guys Drop Album (Independently, ‘Cause No One Else Would)
Breaking, Music News

WITHERING SCORN (LOL!): Ex-MEGADETH, FATES WARNING Guys Drop Album (Independently, ‘Cause No One Else Would)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 16, 2025August 16, 2025

So, WITHERING SCORN, the totally-not-washed-up band featuring Shawn Drover, who used to hit things for MEGADETH (allegedly), and his brother…

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Punks Penny-Pinching Public with Package Tax Prank

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2025August 3, 2025

Oh, the liberal tears are flowing like a mighty river! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is shutting down the…

Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker
Breaking, Games News

Cronos: New Yawn is a Super Slow, Extra Brutal Fight for Survival — and I’m a Sucker

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh boy, another Bloober Team game! 🙄 From the first teasers of Cronos: The New Dawn, it looked like a…

IT Chapter Whatever: Pennywise’s origin story—because you asked for it
Breaking, Movie News

IT Chapter Whatever: Pennywise’s origin story—because you asked for it

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

🤡OMG! HBO, bless their cotton socks, has dropped ANOTHER teaser for It: Welcome to Derry! Because, you know, we haven’t…

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream
Breaking, Music News

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Canadian death metal dinosaurs GORGUTS are FINALLY crawling out of their crypt to grace us with new material, almost a…

‘Nautilus’: A Deep Dive into Blandness
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Nautilus’: A Deep Dive into Blandness

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! Now they’re trying to indoctrinate our youth with a Captain Nemo origin story. You…

Bezos’s Blue Origin Launches More Humans Into Space, Proving Gravity Still Exists
Elephant Reads CNN

Bezos’s Blue Origin Launches More Humans Into Space, Proving Gravity Still Exists

Big ElephantJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, Bezos, fresh from his Venetian escapades with his woke trophy wife, launches another joyride to the edge of space.…

Aerosmith’s Forgotten Bassist’s Side Hustle: Close Enemies Drops a Single Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Aerosmith’s Forgotten Bassist’s Side Hustle: Close Enemies Drops a Single Nobody Asked For

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

CLOSE ENEMIES – the supergroup nobody asked for, featuring Tom Hamilton (AEROSMITH, or what’s left of it), Tony Brock (THE…

Konami’s “Press Start” Event: Prepare for Disappointment This Week!
Breaking, Games News

Konami’s “Press Start” Event: Prepare for Disappointment This Week!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 10, 2025June 10, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round the digital campfire 🔥 because Konami, yes, THAT Konami, is blessing us with a whole 37…

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  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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