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Tag: Paramount

ICE, ICE, Baby: Can They Enter My Crib or Nah
Elephant Reads CNN

ICE, ICE, Baby: Can They Enter My Crib or Nah

Big ElephantSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, trying to undermine our glorious President Trump’s efforts to keep America safe…

AI Nursing Bots to the Rescue: Will They Steal Our Jobs or Just Give Really Bad Bed Baths
Elephant Reads CNN

AI Nursing Bots to the Rescue: Will They Steal Our Jobs or Just Give Really Bad Bed Baths

Big ElephantSeptember 12, 2025September 12, 2025

Oh, good, another step towards the Socialist hellscape we’re apparently destined for. Now they’re replacing our hardworking nurses with robots…

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars
Breaking, Games News

Activision Rejects Spielberg’s COD Film: Guess They Prefer Loot Boxes Over Oscars

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

OMG! 🤯 Can you believe it? Activision, the geniuses behind *Call of Duty*, apparently said “Nah, fam” to a Steven…

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Street Fighter Movie Trailer Drops: Is This the WWE or a Fighting Game, LOL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 5, 2025September 5, 2025

Oh great, another Street Fighter movie! 🙄 As if the last few weren’t cinematic masterpieces (said no one ever), Legendary…

‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

‘Call of Duty’ Movie Incoming: Prepare for Peak Cinema

FinnSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, great, another 💩Call of Duty movie is being forced upon us by the cinematic overlords at Paramount. Because what…

Help! I’m Drowning in Content: A Guide to Picking Something – Anything – to Watch Before You Die of Boredom
Breaking, Movie News

Help! I’m Drowning in Content: A Guide to Picking Something – Anything – to Watch Before You Die of Boredom

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Ah, the good ol’ days. Remember when deciding what to watch meant arguing with your siblings over which VHS tape…

Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album
Breaking, Music News

Robert Plant and Saving Grace Drop ‘Gospel Plough’ – Prepare for the Overhyped Debut Album

Chord F. DiscordAugust 14, 2025August 14, 2025

Robert Plant, bless his heart, is still at it. He and his merry band of musical misfits, SAVING GRACE (because…

Simon Pegg Clings to Fading Dream of ‘Star Trek 4,’ Bless His Heart
Breaking, Movie News

Simon Pegg Clings to Fading Dream of ‘Star Trek 4,’ Bless His Heart

FinnAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, bless Simon Pegg’s heart! ❤️ He’s practically begging for another Star Trek movie! Someone get this man a tissue…

“South Park” Earns Gold Star from Paramount Bigwig While Simultaneously Body-Slamming Trump in Hilarious Spat
Elephant Reads CNN

“South Park” Earns Gold Star from Paramount Bigwig While Simultaneously Body-Slamming Trump in Hilarious Spat

Big ElephantAugust 8, 2025August 8, 2025

Ah, CNN, still whining about President Trump! Seems Paramount’s new CEO, David Ellison, is under fire for daring to run…

Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh
Breaking, Movie News

Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 4, 2025August 4, 2025

Another month, another excuse for Paramount+ to flex its incredibly average library on us Canadians 🇨🇦. Get ready for August…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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