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Michigan Senate Debate Devolves Into Playground Insults
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Senate Debate Devolves Into Playground Insults

Big ElephantJuly 27, 2026

The Michigan Senate primary debate was quite the show, folks. I almost spilled my coffee reading about it. The two…

Aaron Lewis still thinks hes a theologian somehow
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Lewis still thinks hes a theologian somehow

Chord F. DiscordJuly 23, 2026July 24, 2026

Oh no, the apocalypse is near! Or at least that’s what Aaron Lewis thinks 🙄. The STAIND frontman turned country…

White House UFC Fight Erupts Over Michelle Obama Non Insult
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House UFC Fight Erupts Over Michelle Obama Non Insult

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here reading this article about Vice President JD Vance and I’m just shaking my head. He was…

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Liberal Woke Wrestling Fans Attack Trump’s ICE While President Takes on the Deep State Big Bad Brody King and Maxwell…

“Desarrollo Infantil 101: Cómo Sobrevivir a los Pequeños Tiranos Sin Perder la Cordura”
Live

“Desarrollo Infantil 101: Cómo Sobrevivir a los Pequeños Tiranos Sin Perder la Cordura”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 12, 2026

¡OPORTUNIDAD GRATUITA de desarrollo profesional! Para proveedores de primera infancia, cuidadores, profesionales de la salud, defensores de las familias y…

WEBINAR: Guía para Parecer Importante en LinkedIn Sin Hacer Nada Importante
Live

WEBINAR: Guía para Parecer Importante en LinkedIn Sin Hacer Nada Importante

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 3, 2026

OBJETIVO: Descubrir si tu perfil de LinkedIn es tan triste como una foto de carné de hace 10 años. 🕵️‍♀️💼…

Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry go to acting school and come out as criminals
Breaking, Movie News

Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Barry Keoghan, and Halle Berry go to acting school and come out as criminals

FinnDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Chris Hemsworth Decides to Rob People Instead of Playing Thor Again 🦸‍♂️💥 In a shocking turn of events…

Wuthering Waves 3.0: Riding the Wind and Our Last Nerves with Lahai-Roi’s New Motorbike Madness
Breaking, Games News

Wuthering Waves 3.0: Riding the Wind and Our Last Nerves with Lahai-Roi’s New Motorbike Madness

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 21, 2025December 21, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Free-to-Play Game Adds Motorbike, World Explodes With Joy (And Probably Microtransactions) 🚨 So there I was, in sunny…

IO Interactive CEO Accidentally Sort Of Maybe Mentions Hitman 4 (But Who Cares? CO-OP IS HERE, BABYYYY)
Breaking, Games News

IO Interactive CEO Accidentally Sort Of Maybe Mentions Hitman 4 (But Who Cares? CO-OP IS HERE, BABYYYY)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive’s CEO, Hakan Abrak, just said about the future of Hitman! Turns out,…

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Drops New Single ‘If I Fall’ (Spoiler: They Probably Will)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Ah yes, “Echoes”, the sound of desperation from AS I LAY DYING, a band whose leader thought hiring a hitman…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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