Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: president

Olympic Snowboarder Turned FBI Fugitive Ryan Wedding Finally Catches The Police
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Olympic Snowboarder Turned FBI Fugitive Ryan Wedding Finally Catches The Police

Big ElephantJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

Woke Canadian Snowboarder Busted: Turns Out His ‘Parallel Turns’ Were Just a Diversion for a Massive Cocaine Ring! You Won’t…

$100m jewelry heist suspect deported before trial, jury still deliberating the value of costume jewelry
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

$100m jewelry heist suspect deported before trial, jury still deliberating the value of costume jewelry

Big ElephantJanuary 23, 2026January 23, 2026

Another Day, Another Democrat Disaster: Criminal Walks Free Thanks to Open Borders Chaos! Here we go again, folks! It’s the…

Winter Storm Prep, Shark Attacks, and Cancer Trends: Because Your Day Wasn’t Already Terrifying Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Winter Storm Prep, Shark Attacks, and Cancer Trends: Because Your Day Wasn’t Already Terrifying Enough

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

While President Trump makes America great again, the liberal media is busy crying about snow and sharks. SAD! You won’t…

New ICE Policy Says Due Process Is Just A Suggestion, Experts Argue
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New ICE Policy Says Due Process Is Just A Suggestion, Experts Argue

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

RED ALERT: Radical Left Whines as President Trump’s ICE Finally Gets Tough on Illegal Immigration Invasion! The liberal media and…

Trump and Vance Discover ICE ‘Oopsies’ After Facing Actual Consequences
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump and Vance Discover ICE ‘Oopsies’ After Facing Actual Consequences

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Tired of Winning? Trump and Vance Suddenly Discover “Mistakes” as ICE Poll Numbers Crash Faster Than a Biden Stimulus Check!…

Pelosi Privately Blasts Democrats for Daring to Hold the Saintly Clintons Contemptible in Epstein Probe | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi Privately Blasts Democrats for Daring to Hold the Saintly Clintons Contemptible in Epstein Probe | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Pelosi in Panic Mode as Democrats Turn on the Clinton Crime Family! It’s a beautiful day in President Trump’s second…

As Winter Says “Howdy,” Gas Prices Achieve Lift-Off to the Moon
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

As Winter Says “Howdy,” Gas Prices Achieve Lift-Off to the Moon

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

LIE-beral Media Meltdown: Natural Gas Prices Soar Thanks to Old-Fashioned Cold Weather (And Not Climate Change, Imagine That!) Folks, you…

Trump’s Greenland Deal Sounds a Lot Like the 1951 Deal He Probably Missed
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Greenland Deal Sounds a Lot Like the 1951 Deal He Probably Missed

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

President Trump, the Master Dealmaker, secures a “yuge” Greenland victory that CNN can’t handle! It’s the 1951 deal all over…

Minnesota Doctor “ICE” Ice Out Hospitals Like a Vigilante with a Clipboard
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Minnesota Doctor “ICE” Ice Out Hospitals Like a Vigilante with a Clipboard

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

LIBERAL DOCTORS IN MINNESOTA ARE WHINING THAT PATRIOTIC ICE AGENTS ARE KEEPING OUR HOSPITALS SAFE FROM CRIMINAL ILLEGAL ALIENS! It’s…

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ex-ICE Boss Defends Memo That Lets Agents Kick Down Doors Without a Warrant, Says It’s Just a Fun Little Government Prank

Big ElephantJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Finally, ICE Agents Can Protect Our Borders Without Radical Leftist Judges Interfering! It’s about time our brave ICE agents got…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 135 136 137 … 298 Next

Latest posts

  • Shane Gillis Uses F-Word on Saturday Night Live Debut
  • Kalshi Investigates Bets That Somehow Didn’t Bankrupt Everyone
  • Bro Discovered Sleep Token 💀
  • Trump Axes Trees For Golf Course Upgrade Because Ego Is Par
  • Gunman Opens Fire On Philly Cops Because That’s Just Tuesday Now

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.