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Tag: Prime Day

Underwhelming Retail Sales Still Manage To Exist Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Underwhelming Retail Sales Still Manage To Exist Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest retail sales numbers, and let me tell you, it’s a…

Report: Xbox Might Make You Sell a Kidney Due to Recent RAM Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Report: Xbox Might Make You Sell a Kidney Due to Recent RAM Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Oh noes! 😭 Looks like Microsoft and Xbox dun goofed again! Reports are circulating faster than my uncle’s conspiracy theories…

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%
Elephant Reads CNN

Retail Sales Surge Like a Drunk Uncle at a Wedding, Up 0.5%

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump and the American economy! CNN is trying to downplay the incredible news that…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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