Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Release Date

WITHERING SCORN’s New Album: All Done, Just Like Your Last Relationship
Breaking, Music News

WITHERING SCORN’s New Album: All Done, Just Like Your Last Relationship

Chord F. DiscordDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🎸 METAL DRUMMER’S NEW BAND FINALLY FINISHES SECOND ALBUM AFTER OMITTING ‘TOO COMMERCIAL’ TRACK 🤘 In a shocking twist that…

Dead Island 3 Finally Crawling Out of Its Own Grave—Release Date? Not Today, Zombie!
Breaking, Games News

Dead Island 3 Finally Crawling Out of Its Own Grave—Release Date? Not Today, Zombie!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Dead Island 3 Is Officially In Development, Because Apparently We All Didn’t Learn Our Lesson Last Time 🧟‍♂️💀…

AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence
Breaking, Music News

AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence

Chord F. DiscordDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

Amy Lee, the queen of goth-tastic angst and dramatic piano flourishes, has finally blessed humanity with the news we’ve all…

Bob Odenkirk Gets Weird in Ben Wheatley’s So-Called ‘Normal’ (Spoiler: It’s Not
Breaking, Movie News

Bob Odenkirk Gets Weird in Ben Wheatley’s So-Called ‘Normal’ (Spoiler: It’s Not

FinnDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Bob Odenkirk, the man who once played a lawyer so morally compromised he made used car salesmen look like…

Mike Portnoy Says Dream Theater Will Finally Remember How to Write Songs Again in Late 2026
Breaking, Music News

Mike Portnoy Says Dream Theater Will Finally Remember How to Write Songs Again in Late 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

Mike Portnoy, the drummer who left DREAM THEATER over a decade ago, has returned like a prodigal son who forgot…

Bleach: Rebirth of Souls Summons Yhwach DLC Just in Time to Ruin Your Holidays on December 10
Breaking, Games News

Bleach: Rebirth of Souls Summons Yhwach DLC Just in Time to Ruin Your Holidays on December 10

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

Oh, look, another cash grab! 💰 Bleach: Rebirth of Souls, the game nobody asked for, is gracing us with a…

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…

Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album
Breaking, Music News

Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one…

Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
Live, Music News

Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…

OMG! Silent Hill: Townfall Release Date Just Fell Out of the Sky and It’s, Like, Tomorrow
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Silent Hill: Townfall Release Date Just Fell Out of the Sky and It’s, Like, Tomorrow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

So, apparently, the dumpster fire 🔥 that is Silent Hill: Townfall might actually see the light of day! Get ready…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 Next

Latest posts

  • Inflation Sticks Around Like Your In-Laws
  • Frank Ferrer Leaves Guns N Roses Because Even He Got Bored
  • Graham’s Departure Sparks Thrilling Game of Musical Chairs in Washington
  • JAY-Z’s Yankee Stadium Gig Delayed Due to Security Issue
  • Tom Morello Mourns Loss of His Mother Mary Morello

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright Š 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}