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Tag: Remain

Deportation Protections Remain For Ukrainian And Sudanese Immigrants Temporarily Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Deportation Protections Remain For Ukrainian And Sudanese Immigrants Temporarily Somehow

Big ElephantOctober 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest twist in the immigration saga, and I have to say,…

Because What Horror Fans Need Is a Stage Play of Paranormal Activity
Breaking, Movie News

Because What Horror Fans Need Is a Stage Play of Paranormal Activity

FinnOctober 16, 2026October 17, 2026

At first glance, Paranormal Activity seems like the perfect candidate for a stage play. The cast is small, the setting…

Market Experts Clueless About Looming Doom Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Market Experts Clueless About Looming Doom Somehow

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the term premium, which has just hit a 12-year high. The term premium,…

Fox News Has Questions About Katie Zacharia’s Chaos
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fox News Has Questions About Katie Zacharia’s Chaos

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Katie Zacharia’s first week as the new White House press secretary, and let…

Inflation Outsmarts Job Hoppers For Once
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Inflation Outsmarts Job Hoppers For Once

Big ElephantOctober 16, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Shannon Ratcliff, who’s just taken a new job with a $20,000 pay cut.…

Because What The Batman Part II Needed was More Cooks in the Kitchen
Breaking, Movie News

Because What The Batman Part II Needed was More Cooks in the Kitchen

FinnOctober 16, 2026October 16, 2026

In a move that’s either a brilliant solution or a desperate attempt to salvage a potentially troubled production, Warner Bros.…

Because We Clearly Needed Another Beekeeper Movie
Breaking, Movie News

Because We Clearly Needed Another Beekeeper Movie

FinnOctober 15, 2026October 15, 2026

Jason Statham is back as the titular character in The Beekeeper 2, because what’s a successful action movie without a…

Hindu Temple Plot Foiled Because Teens Are Bad At Secrecy Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hindu Temple Plot Foiled Because Teens Are Bad At Secrecy Apparently

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a potential mass shooting that was thwarted in a Chicago suburb, and…

Cornell Applications: Because Your Teen Needs More Stress
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cornell Applications: Because Your Teen Needs More Stress

Big ElephantOctober 15, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding Cornell University, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee…

More Easter Eggs To Justify Another Soulless Reboot VisionQuest Episode 1
Breaking, Movie News

More Easter Eggs To Justify Another Soulless Reboot VisionQuest Episode 1

FinnOctober 14, 2026October 14, 2026

VisionQuest is here, because of course it is. Another meticulously crafted show with more Easter eggs than a chocolate factory…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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