Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…
Tag: Spotlight
Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off
Behold, peasants! Silent Hill 2, the game you’ve all been pretending to care about, has FINALLY graced the glorious Xbox…
Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work
Looks like the Wicked Witch of the West Coast is finally hanging up her broom! Nancy Pelosi, that champion of…
SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…
Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74
Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks! 🎸 Our favorite Spaceman, Ace Frehley, has officially crash-landed on that…
Guitar God JOHN NORUM, Still Alive, Still Signs Deal For Tenth Album No One Asked For
🎸OMG! John Norum, the dude who shreds in EUROPE (you know, that band your mom likes), has signed with Frontiers…
News Tower: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by its Launch Date!
Oh, look, another Early Access game FINALLY clawing its way out of the digital bargain bin 🗑️. Sparrow Night and…
KELLY HANSEN Throws Mic, Sobs Uncontrollably in Farewell Performance with Washed-Up Band, FOREIGNER
OMG! Can you believe it? After like, five whole months of pretending he wasn’t already packing his bags 💼, Kelly…
Collins Asks Mamdani If Trump’s Gonna Get Him Too, LOL
Another day, another desperate Democrat clinging to the spotlight! Zohran Mamdani, a NYC mayoral hopeful (bless his heart), is now…
Lars Ulrich’s Brain Explodes: Metallica Still Popular, World Ends
On Thursday, October 9, the super prestigious 🙄 California Film Institute’s Mill Valley Film Festival, where cinematic masterpieces are born…