MR. BIG Throws A 30th Birthday Bash For ‘Hey Man’ With Shiny New Vinyl, Fancy Remaster, And A Whole Lot Of Nostalgia
Oh great, it’s MR. BIG’s 30th anniversary, and you know what that means — another cash grab disguised as a…
Tag: Squeeze
Should We Tax the Rich? States Can’t Decide Between ‘Cash Grab’ and ‘Please Don’t Leave Us, Mr. Moneybags’
As more and more states face budget shortfalls, liberal politicians are desperately searching for ways to squeeze more money out…
Ghislaine Maxwell Channels Her Inner Miranda Rights: “I Plead the Fifth, B*tch”
Oh, look! Ghislaine Maxwell suddenly wants to talk—but only if Daddy Trump grants her a pardon! So, Ghislaine Maxwell, the…
Pokémon Throws a 30th Birthday Bash, Crashes Super Bowl Like a Mewtwo at a Magikarp Convention
Oh, look! Pikachu’s finally ready for his Super Bowl debut—better late than never, right? Pokémon is turning 30, and instead…
Iran cracks down, Trump faces three risky paths forward — and one of them might involve accidentally nuking his own golf course
Trump’s Armada is on the move, and it ain’t heading for a victory parade Well folks, looks like President Trump…
The Oscars Nominations Have Officially Been Released, and the Academy Definitely Did Not Just Google “Famous Actors” This Year
🛑 BREAKING: The Oscars Gave Out Nominations Like Candy at a Diabetes Parade 🍬 Ladies, gentlemen, and confused people trying…
305 Tailgate Takeover: The Natty Edition
Behold, the ultimate scam to get you to drink overpriced beer in a parking lot: the “305 Tailgate Takeover: The…
Saks Files for Bankruptcy, Giving Macy’s a Shopping Cart to Steal the Crown
Everyone’s favorite woke luxury retailer, Saks Global, has officially filed for bankruptcy—proving once again that you can’t keep a good…
King Charles preaches spiritual unity in Christmas message, because nothing says peace like a monarch preaching from a throne of inherited gold
King Charles Channels His Inner Woke Snowflake in Annual Christmas Meltdown, Blames MAGA for British Weather In a stunning display…
John Petrucci Says Dream Theater and Fans Are BFFs, Because Apparently Prog Rock Needs a Group Chat
🎸 In a stunning turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with ears and a calendar),…