Oh No The Apocalypse Is Near Only 282 Whole Entire US Outdoor Theaters Left To Watch Movies Under The Stars And Eat Overpriced Nachos
Oh joy, summer is finally here, and you know what that means… it’s time to squeeze into a hot car…
Tag: Squeeze
Xbox Game Pass Now Free For Everyone Except You, Suckers, Prices Actually Doubling For The Cool Kids
The price of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate is dropping from $29.99 to $22.99 per month, because who needs that extra…
Cyberpunk Edgerunners Fans Get Ready to Waste Even More of Their Lives on a Board Game Based on a Show About Wasting Your Life in a Dystopian Future
After the astronomical success of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, because who doesn’t love a good anime about edgy teens with cybernetic enhancements…
MR. BIG Throws A 30th Birthday Bash For ‘Hey Man’ With Shiny New Vinyl, Fancy Remaster, And A Whole Lot Of Nostalgia
Oh great, it’s MR. BIG’s 30th anniversary, and you know what that means — another cash grab disguised as a…
Should We Tax the Rich? States Can’t Decide Between ‘Cash Grab’ and ‘Please Don’t Leave Us, Mr. Moneybags’
As more and more states face budget shortfalls, liberal politicians are desperately searching for ways to squeeze more money out…
Ghislaine Maxwell Channels Her Inner Miranda Rights: “I Plead the Fifth, B*tch”
Oh, look! Ghislaine Maxwell suddenly wants to talk—but only if Daddy Trump grants her a pardon! So, Ghislaine Maxwell, the…
Pokémon Throws a 30th Birthday Bash, Crashes Super Bowl Like a Mewtwo at a Magikarp Convention
Oh, look! Pikachu’s finally ready for his Super Bowl debut—better late than never, right? PokĂ©mon is turning 30, and instead…
Iran cracks down, Trump faces three risky paths forward — and one of them might involve accidentally nuking his own golf course
Trump’s Armada is on the move, and it ain’t heading for a victory parade Well folks, looks like President Trump…
The Oscars Nominations Have Officially Been Released, and the Academy Definitely Did Not Just Google “Famous Actors” This Year
🛑 BREAKING: The Oscars Gave Out Nominations Like Candy at a Diabetes Parade 🍬 Ladies, gentlemen, and confused people trying…
305 Tailgate Takeover: The Natty Edition
Behold, the ultimate scam to get you to drink overpriced beer in a parking lot: the “305 Tailgate Takeover: The…