Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thank You

Live

Holi at The Seaport: Because Nothing Says ‘Colorful’ Like Turning the Harbor into a Rainbow Slip ‘N Slide

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 4, 2026

Get ready to be the most colorful mess in town at the Seaport’s Holi bash! Hosted by The Culture Tree…

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME Announces May/June 2026 U.S. Tour – Because Waiting for Prog Metal is Just Part of the Experience
OH LOOK, IT'S THAT BAND THAT MAKES MUSIC SO COMPLICATED EVEN THEIR MOMS NEED A FLOWCHART TO FOLLOW ALONG
Breaking, Live, Music News

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME Announces May/June 2026 U.S. Tour – Because Waiting for Prog Metal is Just Part of the Experience

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME—those math wizards of prog metal who apparently…

One Piece Returns On April 5, Kicking Off The Elbaph Arc Because Your Life Was Getting Too Productive
Breaking, Games News

One Piece Returns On April 5, Kicking Off The Elbaph Arc Because Your Life Was Getting Too Productive

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 22, 2026February 22, 2026

Attention, weebs and normies alike: The most important event of the century is upon us. Yes, that’s right—One Piece, the…

Microsoft Gaming Promotes CoreAI President to CEO as Phil Spencer Abandons Xbox for Beach Vacation
🚨BREAKING: Phil Spencer Retires, Xbox Fans Rejoice While Questioning Their Life Choices🚨
Breaking, Games News

Microsoft Gaming Promotes CoreAI President to CEO as Phil Spencer Abandons Xbox for Beach Vacation

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Well, well, well… look who’s finally stepping away from the Xbox throne! Phil Spencer, the man who spent decades making…

Live

Dallas Soul Food Festival: Where Collard Greens and Fried Chicken Reign Supreme

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 20, 2026

**THE #1 SOUL FOOD FESTIVAL IN TEXAS IS BACK!** 🍗🥳 Oh, it’s lit, fam! The **Dallas Soul Food Festival** is…

ARCH ENEMY Snags Ex-ONCE HUMAN Vocalist LAUREN HART, Unleashes ‘To The Last Breath’ – Prepare Your Eardrums!
ARCH ENEMY Just Dropped a New Singer and a New Song, and Fans Are Absolutely Shook
Breaking, Music News

ARCH ENEMY Snags Ex-ONCE HUMAN Vocalist LAUREN HART, Unleashes ‘To The Last Breath’ – Prepare Your Eardrums!

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Move over, Alissa White-Gluz — there’s a new scream queen in town. Swedish/American extreme metal overlords ARCH ENEMY have officially…

Pokémon TCG Pocket Unleashes New Booster Pack And 4 In-Game Events Because Why Stop At Just One
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon TCG Pocket Unleashes New Booster Pack And 4 In-Game Events Because Why Stop At Just One

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Oh look, The Pokémon Company just dropped a bombshell: more cards! Yes, folks, the world collectively holds its breath as…

REPLACED is Delayed Again, Only A Month Away From Launch: The Game That’s Perfecting the Art of Being Late
Oh look, another indie darling just can't seem to hit its own deadline. SURPRISE!
Breaking, Games News

REPLACED is Delayed Again, Only A Month Away From Launch: The Game That’s Perfecting the Art of Being Late

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Well, well, well… if it isn’t REPLACED, the cyberpunk pixel-art baby that just refuses to leave the oven. Sad Cat…

ANGELA GOSSOW DECLARES “NOT ME!” TO ARCH ENEMY REUNION RUMORS, LEAVING FANS AS CONFUSED AS A VEGAN AT A BBQ
ANGELA GOSSOF FINALLY SAYS "NOT IT!" TO ARCH ENEMY COMEBACK RUMORS
Breaking, Music News

ANGELA GOSSOW DECLARES “NOT ME!” TO ARCH ENEMY REUNION RUMORS, LEAVING FANS AS CONFUSED AS A VEGAN AT A BBQ

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Well, well, well—looks like someone’s been playing with fire! 🔥 Angela Gossow, the queen of growls and spreadsheet mastery, has…

“MBS Essentials for GP Registrars: Because Even Doctors Need a Survival Guide for MBS Madness!”
Live

“MBS Essentials for GP Registrars: Because Even Doctors Need a Survival Guide for MBS Madness!”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 15, 2026

🚨 The MBS Demystified: A Survival Guide for Rookie GPs 🚨 Are you a new GP who thinks MBS stands…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 8 9 10 … 19 Next

Latest posts

  • ICE-T States The Blindingly Obvious About US Being A Dumpster Fire
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump EPA scraps summer gas rules to cut US pump prices
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump cuts foreign aid as Obama-Biden era abuses pile up
  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH: Trump claims war on fentanyl cuts deaths by over 10000
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump plots crushing economic blockade against Iran

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.