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Tag: The Rip

Netflix Declares Every Film Must Include a 10-Minute PowerPoint Presentation So You Can Keep Scrolling TikTok Without Missing Anything
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Declares Every Film Must Include a 10-Minute PowerPoint Presentation So You Can Keep Scrolling TikTok Without Missing Anything

FinnJanuary 20, 2026January 20, 2026

Oh, sweet merciful streaming gods, gather ’round the digital altar of content consumption, because apparently, our collective attention spans have…

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Reunite to Prove They Still Know How to Pretend To Be Tough Guys
Breaking, Movie News

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Reunite to Prove They Still Know How to Pretend To Be Tough Guys

FinnJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Have Finally Reunited to Solve the World’s Most Pressing Mystery β€” Where Did…

The Monthly Netflix Firehose: Prepare to Be Drowned in Content You Definitely Don’t Need
Breaking, Movie News

The Monthly Netflix Firehose: Prepare to Be Drowned in Content You Definitely Don’t Need

FinnDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

πŸŽ‰ BREAKING NEWS: Bridgerton is back, and so is your will to live after binging it for the 17th time!…

Baltimore Beat: More Like Baltimore Flop
Events

Baltimore Beat: More Like Baltimore Flop

Chuck B. BallsyNovember 15, 2025

**OMG! πŸ™„ You’re invited to “The Beat Goes On,” a snoozefest doc about Baltimore Beat, the RIP of Baltimore City…

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🀑 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…

Tokyo Game Show 2025: Prepare for Disappointment!
Events, Games News

Tokyo Game Show 2025: Prepare for Disappointment!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Oh, look, it’s that time of the year again! πŸŽ‰ Tokyo Game Show 2025 is gracing us with its 29th…

Witness the trainwreck: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck star in Joe Carnahan’s cinematic abortion, The Rip
Breaking, Movie News

Witness the trainwreck: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck star in Joe Carnahan’s cinematic abortion, The Rip

FinnSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Ben Affleck and Matt Damon! πŸŽ‰ Back again, huh? This time they’ve teamed up with Joe Carnahan…

Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Display of Big Hair and Bigger Egos as DOKKEN Attempts to Relive the Glory Days at the Somewhat Still Relevant Whisky A Go Go
  • Deborah Ann Woll Spills All the Tea on Marvel, Woodcreek and God of War Laufey Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do at GCC 2026
  • Tomb Raider Turns 30 And Still Somehow Manages To Not Completely Fall Apart
  • Obama lackey begs Iran for pathetic peace deal somehow
  • Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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