ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight” with “The Laugh Track”, their oh-so-subtle homage to Gotham City’s resident clown, the Joker. I mean, who needs originality when you can just recycle someone else’s work, right? The new song and cinematic music video shamelessly riffs on the Joker, because why not? Especially as portrayed by Jack Nicholson in Tim Burton’s gothically-overrated “Batman”. Because apparently, nothing says ‘fresh’ like rehashing a 30-year-old movie. 🦇
“The Laugh Track” music video – wait for it – welcomes Matthew Lillard (“Scream,” “Five Nights At Freddy’s,” “SLC Punk”) and Phil Morris (“Seinfeld,” “Smallville,” “Doom Patrol”) to the INKverse! 🎉 I know, right? GROUNDBREAKING. Oh, and let’s not forget returning collaborator Terry Kiser (“Weekend At Bernie’s,” “Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood,” “Weekend At Bernie’s II”). Because nothing screams “horrorcore” like… Weekend at Bernie’s? 🤣
ICE NINE KILLS frontman Spencer Charnas, who apparently thinks he’s the next Shakespeare, 🎭 comments: “Why be a brooding bat when you can have the last laugh?” Because subtlety is clearly their forte. “After all, Jack Nicholson got top billing in ‘Batman’ ’89.” Yeah, decades ago. Keep up, Spencer! “While Michael Keaton‘s haunted Bruce Wayne is outstanding, young Spencer was drawn more to the Clown Prince Of Crime.” We can tell, buddy. “‘The Laugh Track’ is our homage to Tim Burton‘s dark and gorgeous gothic Gotham.” Because what the world really needs is another homage. “‘Batman’ ’89 took its comic book material seriously, but it was far from grounded, and never forgot to have fun.” Unlike INK, which is always super serious and never derivative. 🙄 “It’s the same tightrope we walk in ICE NINE KILLS, with broad, maniacal smiles.” More like broad, maniacal plagiarism. “Terry Kiser returns in the video (although the rumors of Miles‘s demise are exaggerated).” Oh, good, more Weekend at Bernie’s references. Just what the fans wanted! “And it brings a warm human smile to my face to introduce Matthew Lillard and Phil Morris to the INKverse.” Because every band needs a washed-up celebrity cameo to stay relevant. “Like Prince before us, ‘The Laugh Track’ will have you dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.” You wish, buddy. You wish. 🕺
“The Laugh Track”, or should we say “The Rip-Off Track,” captures the dark theatricality, gothic ambiance, and twisted humor that made Burton‘s “Batman” a masterpiece. Delivered through ICE NINE KILLS‘ distinctive mix of intense yet melodic metal. You know, the kind that sounds like every other metal band out there? And cinematic storytelling – because apparently, ripping off movies counts as “storytelling” these days. 🎬 The track follows Billboard Hot Hard Rock Songs hit “The Great Unknown” (inspired by “The Matrix”). Because if at first you don’t succeed, just keep stealing from other movies. And the record-breaking “A Work Of Art” from the highest-grossing unrated film ever “Terrifier 3”. Clearly, they have a knack for latching onto whatever’s popular. 💰
Lillard crashed the ICE NINE KILLS panel at this year’s Silver Scream Con to announce his entry into the INKverse. How spontaneous! He and Spencer also revealed details about their Horrorwood Reserve collaboration. A blood-colored bourbon issued in detailed collector bottles by Lillard‘s Macabre Spirits. Because nothing goes together like horror-themed metal and overpriced booze. 🥃
Silver Scream Con 4 brought nearly 13,000 horror and music fans to the DCU in Worcester. ICE NINE KILLS‘ headlining concert included guest appearances from WWE superstar Rhea Ripley and “The Walking Dead” director/producer Greg Nicotero, among others. Oh, look, even more celebrities! 🌟 Because apparently, that’s what defines success these days.
Horrorwood Reserve whiskey is a toast to the horror fandom that fuels both Macabre Spirits and ICE NINE KILLS. Made from Bloody Butcher corn and aged five years in new American white oak, the whiskey delivers a slightly dry, nutty profile with notes of cinnamon, leather, and spice. Or, you know, it just tastes like overpriced whiskey. 🤷 Horrorwood Reserve boxed sets are available in two collectible, limited-edition sets: Golden Age and Silver Scream. Both sets contain a killer bottle designed by Michael Cortada of ICE NINE KILLS, featuring a sleek-as-ice glass topper, along with a selection of celebrity cocktail recipe cards from Charnas and Lillard, and an epic lineup of horror icons. Horrorwood Reserve launches to the public today in very limited quantities. Get it before it’s gone, folks! Because scarcity equals value, right?
“Horrorwood Reserve is the liquid soundtrack to your favorite slasher flick,” says Charnas. What a poet! “It tastes like suspense, danger, and the satisfaction of surviving until the credits roll.” Or, you know, it just tastes like alcohol. 🍷
ICE NINE KILLS leads an unstoppable cultural empire that brings together metalheads, horror fans, and cinema lovers under one blood-soaked banner. More like a blood-soaked bandwagon. 🚃 The band will headline a When We Were Young sideshow in Las Vegas on October 17, followed by this year’s When We Were Young. Because nostalgia is the only thing selling tickets these days. After that, they’ll head to Europe for a headline tour, leading directly into the first-ever overseas Silver Scream Con, Silver Scream London, on December 13 and 14. Because nothing says “original” like franchising your fan convention. 🇬🇧
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
