Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thrash Metal

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook

Chord F. DiscordDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Declares War on American Sleep Schedules With CARCASS in 2026

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

GERMAN METAL TITANS KREATOR DESCEND UPON AMERICA LIKE A HORDE OF ENRAGED BAVARIAN WEREWOLVES WITH A NEW ALBUM CALLED ‘KRUSHERS…

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
Live, Music News

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are finally calling it quits! After…

Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Band, THE VIOLENT HOUR, Drops a Music Video So Bad It’ll Make You Want ‘Sex And Cigarettes’
Breaking, Music News

Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Band, THE VIOLENT HOUR, Drops a Music Video So Bad It’ll Make You Want ‘Sex And Cigarettes’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

OMG 🙄, THE VIOLENT HOUR, which is basically BUTCHER BABIES 2.0 but without the other chick, fronted by former BUTCHER…

Power Trip 2.0: Now With Extra Cheeeeeese
Breaking, Music News

Power Trip 2.0: Now With Extra Cheeeeeese

Chord F. DiscordNovember 11, 2025November 11, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Jeebus, they’re back! POWER TRIP, the Texan thrashers who were last seen… well, you know 💀. Guitarist…

SADUS Vomits Forth New “Music Video” for “Pain” (As If Anyone Asked)
Breaking, Music News

SADUS Vomits Forth New “Music Video” for “Pain” (As If Anyone Asked)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

OMG! 😱 Thrash metal dinosaurs SADUS, yes, those guys from the Stone Age, have dropped a music video for their…

DEATH ANGEL Drops New Single ‘Wrath (Bring Fire)’ – Is It Hot or Just Lukewarm
Breaking

DEATH ANGEL Drops New Single ‘Wrath (Bring Fire)’ – Is It Hot or Just Lukewarm

Chord F. DiscordNovember 2, 2025November 2, 2025

Wow, hold onto your dentures, folks!👵👴 The geriatrics of thrash metal, DEATH ANGEL, bless their ancient souls, have finally cranked…

Municipal Waste in Charlotte, NC (10/22/2025)
Videos

Municipal Waste in Charlotte, NC (10/22/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 23, 2025

Thrash Metal/Crossover from Richmond, Virginia Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
Live, Music News

SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…

Nemesis in Charlotte, NC (10/14/2025)
Videos

Nemesis in Charlotte, NC (10/14/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 15, 2025

3 piece thrash metal from Charlotte, NC Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 13 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: ICE Withholds Ilhan Omar Fraud Probe Records Citing Ongoing Proceedings
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump boasts strong endorsements and loyal candidates
  • Phoenix Cops Fired For Doing Their Job Too Enthusiastically Apparently
  • L’AGENCE Finally Decides to Make Clothes That Won’t Get You Kicked Out of the Country Club for Looking Like a Total Slob On the Tennis Court
  • Dad’s Family Reunion Plans Foiled By Border Patrol

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.