Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Wish

Kim Thayil claims 90s Seattle scene was totally sober somehow
Breaking, Music News

Kim Thayil claims 90s Seattle scene was totally sober somehow

Chord F. DiscordAugust 15, 2026August 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously nostalgic and potentially depressing news? 🤯 Because Kim Thayil, the legendary…

Slipknot Ditches Sid Wilson Because His Jumping Got Old
Breaking, Music News

Slipknot Ditches Sid Wilson Because His Jumping Got Old

Chord F. DiscordAugust 15, 2026August 16, 2026

Oh no, the sky is falling! SLIPKNOT has parted ways with longtime member Sid Wilson, and I’m totally not okay…

Fed Keeps Everyone Guessing Because That’s Their Job Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fed Keeps Everyone Guessing Because That’s Their Job Apparently

Big ElephantAugust 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Federal Reserve is set to meet next month, and the…

THQ Nordic parades its remake cash cow lineup again
Breaking, Games News

THQ Nordic parades its remake cash cow lineup again

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 7, 2026August 7, 2026

Another year, another THQ Nordic Showcase, and I’m still trying to figure out how they manage to cram so many…

Fed Admits They Probably Should Have Raised Those Rates Already
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fed Admits They Probably Should Have Raised Those Rates Already

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Fed’s latest move, and let me tell you, it’s a real…

Seattle Center Becomes Latest Venue To Host Free Ammo Giveaway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Seattle Center Becomes Latest Venue To Host Free Ammo Giveaway

Big ElephantJuly 26, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a shooting at a food festival in Seattle, and I’ve got to…

Vandenbergs 50th Anniversary Album Will Definitely Not Be A Cash Grab
Breaking, Music News

Vandenbergs 50th Anniversary Album Will Definitely Not Be A Cash Grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 26, 2026July 26, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some epic news? 🤩 Adrian Vandenberg, the legendary guitarist of WHITESNAKE, is planning to…

Indiana Jones Gets Another Desperate Cash Grab Sequel Because Why Not
Breaking, Movie News

Indiana Jones Gets Another Desperate Cash Grab Sequel Because Why Not

FinnJuly 25, 2026July 25, 2026

The Indiana Jones franchise refuses to be put out of its misery, with Marvel announcing a new comic book series,…

Trump Ruins Saudi Nuclear Deal In Record Time Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Ruins Saudi Nuclear Deal In Record Time Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The latest news about the civilian nuclear agreement between the United…

Vice President Delighted by Usha Vance’s New Baby PR Opportunity
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vice President Delighted by Usha Vance’s New Baby PR Opportunity

Big ElephantJuly 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one – Vice President JD Vance just announced that his wife, Usha…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social from August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on August 22, 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 22 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.