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Tag: Zach

Luxury Ice Cream Now Affordable Only To The Extremely Wealthy
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Luxury Ice Cream Now Affordable Only To The Extremely Wealthy

Big ElephantJuly 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that people are willing to shell out $15 for…

GOP Leaders Fold On Veterans Bill Because Infighting Is Harder
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Leaders Fold On Veterans Bill Because Infighting Is Harder

Big ElephantJuly 16, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Speaker Mike Johnson’s latest debacle, and folks, it’s a doozy. Apparently, he was…

SHINEDOWN’s ZACH MYERS Throws Tantrum Because Robots Are Better Songwriters Than Him
Breaking, Music News

SHINEDOWN’s ZACH MYERS Throws Tantrum Because Robots Are Better Songwriters Than Him

Chord F. DiscordJune 8, 2026June 8, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some hot takes? 🤣 SHINEDOWN’s Zach Myers is sounding off about people using…

SHINEDOWN’s ‘Safe And Sound’ Somehow Manages To Brainwash 25 Different Sets Of Human Beings Into Thinking It’s The Best Song At Mediabase Active Rock Chart
Breaking, Music News

SHINEDOWN’s ‘Safe And Sound’ Somehow Manages To Brainwash 25 Different Sets Of Human Beings Into Thinking It’s The Best Song At Mediabase Active Rock Chart

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Wow, SHINEDOWN is just so cool and not at all overhyped 🙄! They just reached No. 1 on the Mediabase…

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw

FinnMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

The secret’s out, folks! 🤫 A never-before-seen, 2-and-a-half-hour cut of Gremlins, yes, you read that right, 2.5 hours of gremlin…

Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Resident Evil Reboot Because the Last 12 Were Not Enough to Traumatize You for Life

FinnApril 30, 2026April 30, 2026

Get ready for another epic failure in the Resident Evil movie franchise, because why not, right? 🙄 We’ve had like,…

How to Make a Killing: Glen Powell Murders His Way Through a Dysfunctional Dynasty in the New Trailer for the ‘Kind Hearts and Coronets’ Remake
Breaking, Movie News

How to Make a Killing: Glen Powell Murders His Way Through a Dysfunctional Dynasty in the New Trailer for the ‘Kind Hearts and Coronets’ Remake

FinnJanuary 19, 2026January 19, 2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Glen Powell has decided to make a literal killing because apparently, running from The Running Man or…

A New ‘Jackass’ Movie Is Coming This Summer Because Apparently We Haven’t Learned Our Lesson
Breaking, Movie News

A New ‘Jackass’ Movie Is Coming This Summer Because Apparently We Haven’t Learned Our Lesson

FinnJanuary 10, 2026January 10, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Johnny Knoxville Reports That Pain Is Back, And So Is Jackass 🚨 😱💥 In a move that shocked absolutely…

Zach’s Back: Live in Miami (and Other Cities That Exist)
Live

Zach’s Back: Live in Miami (and Other Cities That Exist)

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 4, 2026

Zach Margs is back in Miami, baby! 🎤 After selling out shows globally and racking up millions of views online,…

Oops, America’s Flights Go Bye-Bye, Prepare for Wallet-Shredding Ticket Prices and Passenger Pandemonium
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops, America’s Flights Go Bye-Bye, Prepare for Wallet-Shredding Ticket Prices and Passenger Pandemonium

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another government shutdown? You can bet your bottom dollar this is the Democrats’ fault, and those Deep State saboteurs are…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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