Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Zombie

Dying Light: Beast Mode—Run, Punch, Puke, Repeat
Breaking, Games News

Dying Light: Beast Mode—Run, Punch, Puke, Repeat

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh boy, another Dying Light game! 🙄 Because we totally needed more zombies, am I right? The Dying Light franchise…

“The Munsters” on Broadway: A Matinee of Mild Horror and Questionable Pizza
Live

“The Munsters” on Broadway: A Matinee of Mild Horror and Questionable Pizza

Chuck B. BallsyJune 7, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 DANIEL ROEBUCK from THE MUNSTERS will be there for awkward meet & greets, autographs & cringe photos after…

Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly
Breaking, Games News

Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Okay, so apparently, it’s World Tetris Day. 🎉 I didn’t even know that was a thing. But hey, who am…

Cillian Murphy Milked for ’28 Years Later’ Trilogy: Only Shows Up After 2 Movies, Danny Boyle Begs for Cash
Breaking

Cillian Murphy Milked for ’28 Years Later’ Trilogy: Only Shows Up After 2 Movies, Danny Boyle Begs for Cash

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

So, Cillian Murphy, that guy who peaked in “Oppenheimer” (let’s be real, he was just okay in “28 Days Later”)…

US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls
Breaking

US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

In March, the self-proclaimed “geniuses” 🧠 from DOGE, led by the ever-stable 🤪 and totally-not-erratic Elon Musk’s Department of Government…

Resident Evil 9: Summer Games Fest Jumpscare Incoming, Maybe
Breaking

Resident Evil 9: Summer Games Fest Jumpscare Incoming, Maybe

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 Some random “insider” (probably just a guy who likes pizza rolls and yelling at his monitor) says Resident…

Wolf Hoffmann of ACCEPT Declares Musicians Must Now Grovel to Social Media Gods and Bow to Technology’s Iron Fist
Breaking

Wolf Hoffmann of ACCEPT Declares Musicians Must Now Grovel to Social Media Gods and Bow to Technology’s Iron Fist

Chord F. DiscordMay 31, 2025May 30, 2025

So, Wolf Hoffmann, guitar shredder from ACCEPT (who?), gave an interview to some Portuguese metal blog, Carlos Guimarães of Caminhos…

3 HBO/Max Movies So Bad They’re Good (Or Maybe Just Bad), Watch at Your Own Risk
Breaking

3 HBO/Max Movies So Bad They’re Good (Or Maybe Just Bad), Watch at Your Own Risk

FinnMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

The end of May usually means a few things: school is ending, work vacations are happening, and there are tons…

Rob Zombie at Welcome to Rockville 2025, Florida (05/15/2025)
Videos

Rob Zombie at Welcome to Rockville 2025, Florida (05/15/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 16, 2025

Robert Bartleh Cummings plays Industrial metal!

JOHN 5 UNLEASHES ‘FIEND’ UPON UNWARY EARS, ARONOFF’S DRUMS SOMEHOW INVOLVED
Breaking

JOHN 5 UNLEASHES ‘FIEND’ UPON UNWARY EARS, ARONOFF’S DRUMS SOMEHOW INVOLVED

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2025May 16, 2025

OMG! 😱🎸 Shred Lord John 5, fresh from his totally-not-controversial-at-all gig replacing Mick Mars in Mötley Crüe (more on that…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 14 15 16 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.