Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL
Breaking, Music News

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chicago’s cutting-edge Rebel Radio 92.5 FM, SOIL bassist and supreme overlord Tim King, blessed us…

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)
Breaking, Music News

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Elwood from the prestigious 95 WIIL Rock radio station, BEARTOOTH’s very own Caleb Shomo, in…

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now
Live, Music News

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Satan, THE CULT, those purveyors of slightly-above-average rock anthems for the tragically unhip, are back! 🎉 They’re…

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Metalirium (because who ELSE would care? 😂), MY DYING BRIDE guitarist Andrew Craighan spilled the…

KISS Milks ‘Alive!’ For 50th Time: Prepare For More Unnecessary Reissues
Breaking, Music News

KISS Milks ‘Alive!’ For 50th Time: Prepare For More Unnecessary Reissues

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

🤪OMG!🚨 Get ready to open your wallets, KISS Army (and your gullible parents)!🤑 Apparently, some old dude named Eddie Kramer…

Amon Amarth to Drop New Ditty ‘We Rule the Waves’ on Hump Day, Prepare to Be Mildly Titillated
Breaking, Music News

Amon Amarth to Drop New Ditty ‘We Rule the Waves’ on Hump Day, Prepare to Be Mildly Titillated

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

So, the Vikings who can’t seem to find a new gimmick AMON AMARTH are gracing us with a single and…

My Chemical Romance’s Emo Masterpiece ‘The Black Parade’ Gets Umpteen Shiny New Participation Trophies
Breaking, Music News

My Chemical Romance’s Emo Masterpiece ‘The Black Parade’ Gets Umpteen Shiny New Participation Trophies

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, honey, bless their hearts. Following the earth-shattering, life-altering, and definitely not overhyped launch of their “‘Long Live’: The Black…

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Wow, look at this “exclusive” interview 🙄 with the guy who got the boot from SLIPKNOT, now slumming it in…

The Charlatans, bless their cotton socks, are back with *another* album and a UK tour (as if we needed more Charlatans)
Breaking, Music News

The Charlatans, bless their cotton socks, are back with *another* album and a UK tour (as if we needed more Charlatans)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

“We’re honouring ourselves, our past, feeling that energy and reincarnating it, doing something fresh, brand new” – Tim Burgess (allegedly)…

Soulfly Drops New Track ‘Favela Dystopia’ – Prepare for Maximum Groove and Minimal Originality
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly Drops New Track ‘Favela Dystopia’ – Prepare for Maximum Groove and Minimal Originality

Chord F. DiscordJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups! SOULFLY, the band that still exists, apparently, graced the stage with a brand-new banger called “Favela…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 137 138 139 … 179 Next

Latest posts

  • Justice Kagan Calls Out Conservative Colleagues For Democracy Fail
  • Trump’s Potential Tantrum Sparks Fierce GOP Jockeying
  • Spotify Removes Over 50M Fake Tracks Annually In Ongoing Crackdown
  • Guatemalan Smuggler Gets 30 Years for Texas Tragedy of Epic Proportions
  • Michael Snubbed for Golden Globes Musical Comedy Category

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.