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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Mantas Still Teasing Venom Reunion Because You Clearly Need More Noise In Your Life
Breaking, Music News

Mantas Still Teasing Venom Reunion Because You Clearly Need More Noise In Your Life

Chord F. DiscordJuly 20, 2026July 20, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some old-school black metal drama? 🤯 Because I’m about to spill all the…

Aaron Lewis Calls Out Posers Using Backing Tracks Because Authenticity Is Overrated Anyway
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Lewis Calls Out Posers Using Backing Tracks Because Authenticity Is Overrated Anyway

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh no, the sky is falling! Aaron Lewis, the frontman of STAIND, has spoken out against the use of backing…

Jonathan Cain Calls Out Bruce Springsteen As Cranky Old Guy Who Wont Stop Yapping About Politics
Breaking, Music News

Jonathan Cain Calls Out Bruce Springsteen As Cranky Old Guy Who Wont Stop Yapping About Politics

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some piping hot takes from Jonathan Cain, the keyboardist of Journey? 🙄 Because…

Mötley Crüe still touring because your dad refuses to let them retire
Breaking, Music News

Mötley Crüe still touring because your dad refuses to let them retire

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Breaking News: MÖTLEY CRÜE Is Back, Because You Clearly Didn’t Get Enough of Them the First Time Around 🤯 I…

Jason Newsted saves music by playing Fairies Wear Boots with Blackberry Smoke in Farmington Pennsylvania
Breaking, Music News

Jason Newsted saves music by playing Fairies Wear Boots with Blackberry Smoke in Farmington Pennsylvania

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh boy, folks, are you ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement. Former…

ARCH ENEMY survives first show with new singer somehow
Breaking, Music News

ARCH ENEMY survives first show with new singer somehow

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some melodramatic metal news? 🤯 ARCH ENEMY just kicked off their summer 2026 European…

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes
Breaking, Music News

Riot Grrrl Pioneer Jennifer Finch Loses Brave Fight Against Brain Cancer Because Thats How It Always Goes

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2026July 19, 2026

Oh no, the music world is literally ending: L7 bassist Jennifer Finch has passed away at 59 🤯. I mean,…

Mick Box Downgrades Uriah Heep Farewell Tour to Just Really Long Goodbye
Breaking, Music News

Mick Box Downgrades Uriah Heep Farewell Tour to Just Really Long Goodbye

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2026July 18, 2026

Oh boy, it’s finally happening! 🙌 URIAH HEEP is embarking on their farewell tour, “The Magician’s Farewell”, and I’m not…

TWISTED SISTER Needs Your Permission To Replace Singer With Slightly Less Old Guy
Breaking, Music News

TWISTED SISTER Needs Your Permission To Replace Singer With Slightly Less Old Guy

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2026July 18, 2026

Breaking News: TWISTED SISTER Recruits Sebastian Bach for Fall 2026 Shows and We’re Still Trying to Process This Information 🤯…

Eluveitie side project Illumishade blesses world with generic single Heatwave
Breaking, Music News

Eluveitie side project Illumishade blesses world with generic single Heatwave

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2026July 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some seriously heavy stuff? 🤯 ILLUMISHADE just dropped their new single “Heatwave” and…

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