Slipknot Finally Fires Guy Who Spins Around In Circle
I just spilled my beer all over my favorite Slipknot t-shirt and I’m still trying to process the news that…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Ancient Nu Metal Dudes Drowning Pool And Saliva Reunite To Confuse Millennials
Oh boy, are you guys ready for a blast from the past? 🤯 Because I’m not sure if I am.…
W.A.S.P. Still Exists And Has New Music Coming Eventually Maybe
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤩 W.A.S.P. is working on new music! 🎸 I know,…
Ataraxia, because the world was missing yet another atmospheric metal band.
Oh great, another metalcore band to add to the ever-growing pile of “same-old, same-old” 🙄. But wait, Swedish progressive metalcore…
Geezer Butler Still Trying To Act Surprised Black Sabbath Did Something Good
In a shocking turn of events, Black Sabbath bassist Geezer Butler has once again opened his mouth and words came…
Steven Sweet’s Health Issues Are Totally Fine Probably
I just spent the last hour reading about WARRANT drummer Steven Sweet’s health issues, and I’m still trying to process…
CANDLEMASS somehow still exists and is making more music because you clearly needed that in your life
Oh joy, oh rapture! 💥 The metal gods have smiled upon us, and a new Candlemass album is in the…
Zoltan Bathory assures stockholders Five Finger Death Punch will keep churning out mediocrity for years to come
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some more Five Finger Death Punch? I mean, it’s not like they’ve been…
FINSTERFORST — The band’s new album somehow still exists
FINSTERFORST, the German folk metal band, has just dropped their latest album “Still”, and I’m not sure what to make…
Tony Iommi somehow still alive and making music with Jorn Lande
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement… 😴…