Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
NONPOINT’s ELIAS SORIANO: ‘Prepare For Your Ears To Explode With Joy Or Something’
Breaking, Movie News

NONPOINT’s ELIAS SORIANO: ‘Prepare For Your Ears To Explode With Joy Or Something’

Chord F. DiscordMarch 7, 2026March 7, 2026

Well, look who’s back! NONPOINT is gearing up for a new album, and according to Elias Soriano, it’s going to…

THE WARNING Unleashes Fiery New Single ‘Kerosene’ – Because Why Not Set Everything Ablaze?
THE WARNING Drops "Kerosene" — Prepare Your Eyebrows
Breaking, Music News

THE WARNING Unleashes Fiery New Single ‘Kerosene’ – Because Why Not Set Everything Ablaze?

Chord F. DiscordMarch 6, 2026March 6, 2026

Move over, fire extinguishers — THE WARNING just released a new single called “Kerosene,” and it’s every bit as flammable…

AS I LAY DYING Has ‘All The Songs Ready’ To Make Your Ears Bleed Again With Next Studio Album
Breaking, Music News

AS I LAY DYING Has ‘All The Songs Ready’ To Make Your Ears Bleed Again With Next Studio Album

Chord F. DiscordMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

AS I LAY DYING vocalist Tim Lambesis and bassist/clean vocalist Chris Clancy sat down with Egor Erushin earlier this month…

SEVENDUST Unleashes Unbreakable Music Video Because Nothing Says Fragile Like a Title Named ‘Unbreakable’
SEVENDUST is back with "Unbreakable," because apparently the only thing more indestructible than their career is their ability to release albums on a schedule even NASA would envy
Breaking, Music News

SEVENDUST Unleashes Unbreakable Music Video Because Nothing Says Fragile Like a Title Named ‘Unbreakable’

Chord F. DiscordMarch 5, 2026March 5, 2026

The official music video for “Unbreakable,” the latest single from SEVENDUST, can be seen below. The track is taken from…

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, TOOL, LIMP BIZKIT And PIERCE THE VEIL To Headline 2026 AFTERSHOCK Festival Because Your Inner 2004 Just Called And Wants Its Playlist Back
Hold My Beer (and My Sanity): Aftershock 2026 Just Dropped a 140-Band Nuclear Bomb
Breaking, Live, Music News

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, TOOL, LIMP BIZKIT And PIERCE THE VEIL To Headline 2026 AFTERSHOCK Festival Because Your Inner 2004 Just Called And Wants Its Playlist Back

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Sacramento, CA – In a move that can only be described as “Y2K panic meets Hot Topic catalog,” Danny Wimmer…

IRON MAIDEN: Gridiron Glory Forces Metal Mayhem to Move, Leaving L.A. Fans in a Headbanging Frenzy Over Football’s Bold Field Takeover
Oh no, the mighty IRON MAIDEN is being held hostage by college football — who knew the Trojans were such metalheads? 🎸🏈
Breaking, Music News

IRON MAIDEN: Gridiron Glory Forces Metal Mayhem to Move, Leaving L.A. Fans in a Headbanging Frenzy Over Football’s Bold Field Takeover

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that has fans more confused than a bassist trying to count in 7/8 time,…

SKINDRED Drops ‘Can I Get A’ – Because Apparently We All Need A Reminder That The New Album ‘You Got This’ Exists
Breaking, Music News

SKINDRED Drops ‘Can I Get A’ – Because Apparently We All Need A Reminder That The New Album ‘You Got This’ Exists

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Welsh ragga metal legends SKINDRED have unleashed their latest sonic abomination, “Can I Get A,” proving once again that combining…

MR. BIG Throws A 30th Birthday Bash For ‘Hey Man’ With Shiny New Vinyl, Fancy Remaster, And A Whole Lot Of Nostalgia
Breaking, Music News

MR. BIG Throws A 30th Birthday Bash For ‘Hey Man’ With Shiny New Vinyl, Fancy Remaster, And A Whole Lot Of Nostalgia

Chord F. DiscordMarch 4, 2026March 4, 2026

Oh great, it’s MR. BIG’s 30th anniversary, and you know what that means — another cash grab disguised as a…

BUTCHER BABIES Unleash New Single ‘Lost In Your Touch’—Because Nothing Says Love Like Metal Mayhem
Breaking, Music News

BUTCHER BABIES Unleash New Single ‘Lost In Your Touch’—Because Nothing Says Love Like Metal Mayhem

Chord F. DiscordMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

BUTCHER BABIES are back with a new single, and oh boy, it’s a doozy. Titled “Lost In Your Touch”, this…

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Declares June 2026 U.S. Tour, MACHINE HEAD Obliged to Attend
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Is BACK With A Summer Tour That'll Melt Your Face Off
Breaking, Live, Music News

KILLSWITCH ENGAGE Declares June 2026 U.S. Tour, MACHINE HEAD Obliged to Attend

Chord F. DiscordMarch 3, 2026March 3, 2026

Metalheads, REJOICE! KILLSWITCH ENGAGE is finally dragging their heavy asses out of hibernation for a massive U.S. headline tour this…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 27 28 29 … 132 Next

Latest posts

  • Lesley Groff’s Amazing Adventure in Congressional Testimony Land
  • Human Trafficker Finds Creative Way To Fill Labor Gaps
  • Scream Turns 30 With Beltrami Score On Vinyl Release
  • Vance Blasts Trump Admin’s Epic Failure at Basic Transparency
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Iran Releases Wrongfully Detained American Citizen After Biden Era Arrest

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}