Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Make Music Again and Claims the New FEAR FACTORY Album Is Going to Be Totally Not a Copy of Their Old Stuff and Will Definitely Not Disappoint Fans This Time For Sure
Breaking, Music News

Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Make Music Again and Claims the New FEAR FACTORY Album Is Going to Be Totally Not a Copy of Their Old Stuff and Will Definitely Not Disappoint Fans This Time For Sure

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2026May 19, 2026

Get ready for the most epic comeback in metal history, folks! 🤘 FEAR FACTORY is back with a vengeance, and…

NONPOINT’s ELIAS SORIANO On Upcoming ‘The Last Word’ Album: ‘We Phoned It In But Hope You’ll Still Buy It Anyway’
Breaking, Music News

NONPOINT’s ELIAS SORIANO On Upcoming ‘The Last Word’ Album: ‘We Phoned It In But Hope You’ll Still Buy It Anyway’

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2026May 19, 2026

So, you want to know about the latest scoop on NONPOINT’s new single “Is It” and their upcoming album “The…

SHINEDOWN’s ‘Safe And Sound’ Somehow Manages To Brainwash 25 Different Sets Of Human Beings Into Thinking It’s The Best Song At Mediabase Active Rock Chart
Breaking, Music News

SHINEDOWN’s ‘Safe And Sound’ Somehow Manages To Brainwash 25 Different Sets Of Human Beings Into Thinking It’s The Best Song At Mediabase Active Rock Chart

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Wow, SHINEDOWN is just so cool and not at all overhyped 🙄! They just reached No. 1 on the Mediabase…

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That
Breaking, Music News

HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic tour announcement ever? 🤩🎸 HALESTORM is hitting the road with…

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness
Breaking, Music News

DETHKLOK’s Concert In Milwaukee Cut Short Because Who Needs That Much Eyeliner Anyway And Also The Fire Alarms Went Off From All The Pretentiousness

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

Oh boy, what a night it was! 🤣 The infamous DETHKLOK concert on Saturday, May 16 at Landmark Credit Union…

THE KOVENANT’s NAGASH: We’ve Managed to Write Like Five Songs Without Losing Interest
Breaking, Music News

THE KOVENANT’s NAGASH: We’ve Managed to Write Like Five Songs Without Losing Interest

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

The wait is finally over, folks! 🎉🔥 THE KOVENANT is back, and they’re not just playing the same old songs…

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable
Breaking News: Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica Thinks St. Anger is a Great Album, and We're All Just Wrong 🤯
Breaking, Music News

APOCALYPTICA’s EICCA TOPPINEN Loses All Credibility By Claiming METALLICA’s ‘St Anger’ Is Actually Listenable

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Eicca Toppinen, the cellist from Apocalyptica, has come out and said that Metallica’s infamous…

Breaking News: Mats Levén Sings Entire Album Without Falling Asleep Because Let’s Be Real Yngwie’s Music Can Be Pretty Snooze Inducing
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Mats Levén Sings Entire Album Without Falling Asleep Because Let’s Be Real Yngwie’s Music Can Be Pretty Snooze Inducing

Chord F. DiscordMay 16, 2026May 16, 2026

Breaking news: Mats Levén is a total rockstar and we’re not biased at all 🤘💥! He just played two epic…

Formerly Sane Bassist Ditches ROB ZOMBIE To Worship At The Altar Of MARILYN MANSON Now Launches New Project Because The World Was Missing GABI & THE FLY Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Formerly Sane Bassist Ditches ROB ZOMBIE To Worship At The Altar Of MARILYN MANSON Now Launches New Project Because The World Was Missing GABI & THE FLY Apparently

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys in for a treat 🎉! The most epic, face-melting, and soul-crushing heavy metal project has…

Watch: Formerly Relevant Musician ERIK GRÖNWALL Whines About His 5 Minutes of Fame in “To Hell & Back” aka My Career Imploded
Breaking, Music News

Watch: Formerly Relevant Musician ERIK GRÖNWALL Whines About His 5 Minutes of Fame in “To Hell & Back” aka My Career Imploded

Chord F. DiscordMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤩 Former SKID ROW singer Erik Grönwall, the man who’s…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 38 39 40 … 157 Next

Latest posts

  • America Hates Everything Right Now Apparently Including Lake America
  • Tiger Woods swings by court for DUI plea tweak
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT claims upper hand as Iran’s economy collapses slowly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Trump winning Iran war with current strategy apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 9 weeks to go reframing election as capitalism vs socialism showdown

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.