Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
VENOM Trolls LAMB OF GOD Over Totally Not Ripoff Album Title and Honestly Who Cares Anyway
Breaking, Music News

VENOM Trolls LAMB OF GOD Over Totally Not Ripoff Album Title and Honestly Who Cares Anyway

Chord F. DiscordMay 9, 2026May 9, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for some drama? 🤣 Because we’ve got a whole lot of it brewing in the…

MUDVAYNE’s CHAD GRAY Suddenly Remembers He Has a Music Career and Is ‘Totally Stoked’ to Maybe Possibly Release New Solo Music If He Feels Like It
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE’s CHAD GRAY Suddenly Remembers He Has a Music Career and Is ‘Totally Stoked’ to Maybe Possibly Release New Solo Music If He Feels Like It

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

Chad Gray, the king of metal, is back with his new solo project, “30 Years Of Madness” 🤯💥, and we’re…

RAUNCHY Finally Emerges From Their Parents Basement To Release Music Video For Overhyped Comeback Single ‘Designed Despair Because We Clearly Ran Out of Ideas’
Breaking, Music News

RAUNCHY Finally Emerges From Their Parents Basement To Release Music Video For Overhyped Comeback Single ‘Designed Despair Because We Clearly Ran Out of Ideas’

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

Get ready to have your face melted by the most epic music video of the year, folks! 🤯 Danish metal…

DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out
Breaking, Music News

DAVE MUSTAINE: JAMES HETFIELD And I Were Basically The Dynamic Duo Of Metal Except When We Weren’t And I Got Kicked Out

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2026May 7, 2026

Breaking news: Dave Mustaine is retiring from music due to a condition that’s making it hard for him to play…

NAPALM DEATH’s SHANE EMBURY Loses Last Shred of Dignity While Gushing Over AT THE GATES Frontman TOMAS LINDBERG: ‘He Was The Only Guy Who Didn’t Think I Was Completely Insane’
Breaking News: Metal Scene Mourns the Loss of a Legend, But Let's Be Real, We're All Just Here for the Free Beer 🍺
Breaking, Music News

NAPALM DEATH’s SHANE EMBURY Loses Last Shred of Dignity While Gushing Over AT THE GATES Frontman TOMAS LINDBERG: ‘He Was The Only Guy Who Didn’t Think I Was Completely Insane’

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the metal world is still reeling from the loss of Tomas “Tompa” Lindberg, the…

MÖTLEY CRÜE and SHINEDOWN Forced to Play for Clueless Teenagers on Season Finale of American Idol Because Their Managers Lost a Bet
Get ready for the most epic season finale of "American Idol" ever, featuring the one and only MÖTLEY CRÜE! 🤟‍♂️🔥
Breaking, Music News

MÖTLEY CRÜE and SHINEDOWN Forced to Play for Clueless Teenagers on Season Finale of American Idol Because Their Managers Lost a Bet

Chord F. DiscordMay 6, 2026May 6, 2026

The three-hour episode, airing on May 11 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC, will be a wild ride, with the…

Oh Great Another Old Guy Trying to Relive His Glory Days With a Documentary Called I Was A Teenage Sex Pistol Because Apparently Being a Teenage Sex Pistol Wasnt Enough
Breaking, Music News

Oh Great Another Old Guy Trying to Relive His Glory Days With a Documentary Called I Was A Teenage Sex Pistol Because Apparently Being a Teenage Sex Pistol Wasnt Enough

Chord F. DiscordMay 5, 2026May 5, 2026

Get ready to witness the most epic tale of punk rock history, as told by the one and only Glen…

KORN’s RAY LUZIER: I Was Too Busy Being a Goody Two Shoes to Get Wasted with Rockstars and Now I’m Stuck with These Guys
Breaking, Music News

KORN’s RAY LUZIER: I Was Too Busy Being a Goody Two Shoes to Get Wasted with Rockstars and Now I’m Stuck with These Guys

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

On April 18, KORN drummer and Musicians Institute (MI) graduate Ray Luzier joined Musicians Institute in Hollywood, California for “Pearl…

FEAR FACTORY’s Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Release Some New Music Maybe Possibly Hopefully This Time for Real Guys
Breaking, Music News

FEAR FACTORY’s Dino Cazares Finally Decides to Get Off the Couch and Release Some New Music Maybe Possibly Hopefully This Time for Real Guys

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super exciting news? 🤩 FEAR FACTORY is coming out with a new…

DISTURBED’s John Moyer Somehow Managed To Not Get Wasted For A Whole Year And Is Still Alive To Tell The Tale
Breaking, Music News

DISTURBED’s John Moyer Somehow Managed To Not Get Wasted For A Whole Year And Is Still Alive To Tell The Tale

Chord F. DiscordMay 4, 2026May 4, 2026

Wow, you guys, it’s a miracle! 🙌 John Moyer, the bassist of DISTURBED, has been sober for a whole year!…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 40 41 42 … 157 Next

Latest posts

  • America Hates Everything Right Now Apparently Including Lake America
  • Tiger Woods swings by court for DUI plea tweak
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT claims upper hand as Iran’s economy collapses slowly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Trump winning Iran war with current strategy apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 9 weeks to go reframing election as capitalism vs socialism showdown

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.