Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night
Behemoth’s Nergal Just Dropped a Truth Bomb So Big, It Summoned a Demon From Target 🤯🔥 In a shocking turn…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Roasts His Ex-Singers for Turning His Brand Into a Karaoke Cash Grab
Yngwie Malmsteen Has Had It With These “Hired Vocalists” Who Think They’re Co-Owners of His Brand (Spoiler: They’re Not) 🎸🔥…
JANE’S ADDICTION: ‘We Have Convened One Final Time To Scream Into The Void And Maybe Hug It Out’
🎸 When the Rock ‘n’ Roll Circus Collapses on Itself: JANE’S ADDICTION Declares Peace Like a Reality Show Finale 🌈✌️…
STEEL PANTIER Has Put On Their Pants And Will Be Touring Europe In 2026
Attention, mortals! The glitter apocalypse is coming — and it’s wearing a leather jacket two sizes too small. STEEL PANTHER,…
Social Distortion Finally Crawls Out Of Rock ‘n’ Roll Grave In Time For May 2026
Mike Ness, the leather-lunged, tattooed oracle of SoCal punk rock, has finally emerged from his recording cave to announce that…
POWER TRIP And MUNICIPAL WASTE To Headline 2026 Decibel Magazine Metal & Beer Fest: Philly Because Apparently Fermented Hops And Feedback Aren’t Already A Thing
Brace your livers and your necks, ye faithful metalheads and hopheads, because the apocalypse is coming… again! And this time,…
BATTLE BEAST Recruits New Vocalist Marina La Torraca Because the Old One Finally Got Tired of Pretending to Be Dramatic
Move over, Noora, there’s a new diva in town! 🦸♀️ Finnish power metal juggernauts BATTLE BEAST have just dropped a…
AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence
Amy Lee, the queen of goth-tastic angst and dramatic piano flourishes, has finally blessed humanity with the news we’ve all…
LACUNA COIL’s CRISTINA SCABBIA: ‘I Hate Music Made With A.I. Because My Toaster Tried To Remix My Ballads’
In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the darkened basements of the internet, Cristina Scabbia of…
Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns
🚨 BREAKING: Wayne Static’s Ghost Allegedly Sues Living Filmmaker for ‘Unauthorized Vibes’ in Bizarre Legal Drama 🚨 In a turn…