PUDDLE OF MUDD Dumps New Single ‘Monsters,’ Proving They Still Exist
Behold, peasants! PUDDLE OF MUDD, those titans of… well, *something*, have unleashed their latest auditory assault upon the world: a…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Limp Bizkit, Geriatric Roses & Linkin Park (w/ Hologram Chester) to Annoy U.K. at Download 2026
OMG! 😱 Download Festival is back in 2026 as DLXXIII, because apparently, we’re all still alive and kicking… or at…
SOULFLY’s MAX CAVALERA: ‘Being a Young Band Sucks, Get a Real Job’
In a groundbreaking revelation that will surely send shockwaves through the metal community (or maybe just a mild tremor), former…
DORO’s Florida Kegger: ‘Warriors Of The Sea’ Album Launch—BYOB and Bring Your Own Inflatable Swordfish
Ahoy, metalheads! 🤘 Get ready to drain your bank accounts for the one and only DORO PESCH! 👸 On November…
SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)
OMG! 😱 Those geriatric metal “pioneers” SAVATAGE, bless their hearts, have announced their “Prelude To What?🤔 Dementia?” tour, featuring a…
Metallica Fans Risk Life and Limb (and a Night in the Clink) for a Glimpse of Papa Het’s receding Hairline
So, like, apparently, two dudes who thought they were auditioning for the ‘Tallica circus decided to channel their inner Spider-Man…
KORN Guitarist BRIAN ‘HEAD’ WELCH Drops Truth Bomb: Religion, Still Messing Things Up After All These Years, Who Knew
Brian “Head” Welch, the dude who bailed on KORN in ’05 ’cause he found Jesus (or maybe Jesus found his…
MNEMIC Back From The Dead, Claims To Be “Super Excited” (We’ll See About That)
In August 2024, the original lineup of Danish “djent” metal pioneers MNEMIC (yeah, we put “djent” in quotes because let’s…
DEATH ANGEL Drops New Single ‘Wrath (Bring Fire)’ – Is It Hot or Just Lukewarm
Wow, hold onto your dentures, folks!👵👴 The geriatrics of thrash metal, DEATH ANGEL, bless their ancient souls, have finally cranked…
P.O.D. Butchers THE BEATLES’ ‘Don’t Let Me Down’ in Denver, World Cries
OMG! 😱 The legendary (debatable) FirstRowConcert channel on YouTube, known for its impeccable (questionable) audio quality and stunning (blurry) visuals,…