METALLICA Declares Victorious in Epic Battle of the Marching Bands – “For Whom The Band Tolls!” Collegiate Edition!
Oh no, not another marching band competition! 😩 As if the world needed more reasons for high school students to…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
MICK MARS’s Attorney Goes Full Meltdown: ‘This Arbitrator’s Ruling Is So Dumb It Hurts’
Well, well, well, look who’s crying foul now — Mick Mars, the guy who once shredded solos like a caffeinated…
SEPULTURA Unleashes ‘The Cloud Of Unknowing’ EP—Because Who Needs Clarity Anyway?
SEPULTURA Announces Final EP Title: “The Cloud Of Unknowing” Hold onto your leather pants, metalheads! SEPULTURA, the Brazilian/American metal legends…
Pro-Shot Video Of METAL ALLEGIANCE And Their Surprise Guests From MASTODON And SEPULTURA Finally Nail That One Metallica Song You Knew They’d Do
Attention, metalheads and headbangers: A legendary jam session just hit YouTube, and it’s basically a superhero team-up—if superheroes played shred-tastic…
SEVENDUST Drops ‘Is This The Real You?’ Single—Because Apparently We Needed Another Question Mark in Our Lives
SEVENDUST Drops New Single “Is This The Real You?” and Fans Are Asking the Same Question About the Band’s Longevity…
Behold! The Ultimate Tribute to PAUL DI’ANNO: A Limited-Edition Statue That’ll Make Your Iron Maiden Shrine Complete (Or Just Collect Dust)
Wow, the rock world is shaking in its platform boots because KnuckleBonz just dropped a limited-edition statue of Paul Di’Anno,…
POST MALONE, SLASH, DUFF MCKAGAN And CHAD SMITH Unite To Do A Half-Decent Impression Of OZZY OSBOURNE At The 2026 GRAMMYs
Oh great, another Grammy tribute, because what the world really needs is more middle-aged men in leather jackets pretending they…
OBITUARY’s Corpse-Crawling Carnival 2026: Death Metal Grandpas Gallivanting & Rotting Across America
Hold onto your grandmother’s ashes, folks, because Florida’s favorite crypt-keepers, OBITUARY, are dragging their rotting carcasses out of the swamp…
SKID ROW’s Rachel Bolan Unleashes Self-Absorbed Side Hustle ‘Gargoyle Of The Garden State’ This June—Breaking Up Lawn Decor and Eardrums Alike
Hold onto your hairspray cans, folks, because SKID ROW bassist Rachel Bolan just discovered he can do… everything 😱. On…
Zakk Wylde’s Acoustic Set Confirmed: Amoeba Hollywood To Host Unplanned Therapy Session for Confused Metalheads
BREAKING NEWS: Guitar Demigod Zakk Wylde Temporarily Abandons Shredding to Play Folk Music at Record Store, Chaos Ensues 🎸💥 Hold…