Deacon Blue’s 1993 album “Whatever You Say, Say Nothing” is a hot mess express 🚂💥, and I am HERE. FOR. IT. 🤣 I mean, who needs harmony and cohesion when you can have behind-the-scenes drama and creative differences 🤪? The band teamed up with Paul Oakenfold and Steve Osborne, and it was like a beautiful trainwreck 🚂💥. Oakenfold was all like “Ugh, Deacon Blue is so cheesy 🧀”, and McIntosh was over here crying in the corner 🤣. And Kelling was all like “Guys, what are we even doing? 🤔 We’re trying to force ourselves into a spangly jacket that’s just not our style 🕺”.
So, was it all worth it? 🤔 Well, the album didn’t exactly set the world on fire 🔥, spending a whole three weeks in the UK Top 20 🎉. But hey, on a creative level, it’s like they say: “go big or go home” 🏠. And Deacon Blue definitely went big 🤯. The opening single “Your Town” is like a protest song on steroids 🤯, all like “Hey, Tory government, you’re the worst 👎”. And the video? 📹👀 It’s like a time capsule of 90s awesomeness 🕰️.
But then, things start to get a little weird 🤪. The album loses its mojo halfway through, and it’s like they’re trying to be someone they’re not 🤔. The sombre balladry of “Last Night I Dreamed Of Henry Thomas” is like a different band altogether 🎶. And don’t even get me started on the likes of “Will We Be Lovers”, “Fall So Freely Down”, and “Bethlehem’s Gate” 🙅♂️. It’s like they’re trying to be cool, but really they’re just a bunch of dads in sunglasses 🕶️.
And then, there’s the elephant in the room 🐘: Bono 🤦♂️. I mean, come on, Ross, we all know you’re a huge U2 fan 🙌. The album is basically “Achtung Baby” with a Scottish accent 🎤. But hey, at least they had the sense to tour with a stage show that was like a mix of Zoo TV and Spinal Tap 🎸. I mean, who needs subtlety when you can have giant wraparound sunglasses and a bunch of pyrotechnics 🎇?
Anyway, Deacon Blue survived this identity crisis 🙌, and went on to have a Best Of album that added to their tally of No.1s 🎉. And then, Vipond was all like “Peace out, I’m going to be a TV presenter 📺”, and the band was like “Okay, cool, we’re done 🎤”. But, as we all know, that was not the end of their story 📚. Stay tuned, folks 📺, it’s about to get real 🤯. 🎉💥🔥🎸🕺👀🤣💁♀️🎶🕰️👎🤦♂️🙌🎤📺📚🤯.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
