Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🤣 SLAYER’s iconic second studio album, “Hell Awaits”, is getting a 40th-anniversary-edition reissue via Metal Blade Records on May 15, and we can’t even handle it 🤯! I mean, who needs personal growth or new music when you can just re-release old stuff and call it a day? 😂 An unboxing video for the three-LP vinyl box set is out, and let’s be real, it’s probably just a bunch of old dudes opening a box and going “ooooh, shiny!” 🎉
SLAYER, the band that’s been around longer than your grandma’s gossip, has been assaulting the world with their unique blend of metal and punk since 1981 🤘. And by “assaulting”, I mean they’ve been making the same music for 40 years and still managed to not get boring 🙄. Throughout their history, the band has never faltered in unleashing their extreme and focused aural assault, mainly because they never really knew how to do anything else 🤷♂️. They’ve always chosen to remain crushing and brutal, steadfastly refusing to cater to the mainstream, mostly because they never really understood what that meant 🤔.
Kerry King, the band’s guitarist, co-songwriter, and co-lyricist, says that “Hell Awaits” is the record where SLAYER became SLAYER 🙌. And by “became SLAYER”, I mean they finally figured out how to use a compressor and make their music sound less like it was recorded in a garage 🎸. The album is a significant departure from their 1983 debut, “Show No Mercy”, mainly because they had a bigger budget and could afford better production 🤑. It’s an outlier and a solidification of form, kind of like how your aunt’s gossip is both entertaining and annoying at the same time 🤷♀️.
Released in April 1985, “Hell Awaits” was the pinnacle of an action-packed thrash year that saw debut albums from the likes of MEGADETH, EXODUS, KREATOR, POSSESSED, DESTRUCTION, HIRAX, and OVERKILL 🤯. Heavily influenced by MERCYFUL FATE, the longer, more progressive arrangements on “Hell Awaits” marked a new era for SLAYER, mainly because they finally discovered the joys of songwriting 🎶. Whereas most of the songs on “Show No Mercy” were less than four minutes long, three of “Hell Awaits”‘s seven tracks go beyond the six-minute mark, because who needs editing when you can just keep playing 🤷♂️?
The reissue arrives May 15, 2026, in three physical formats and digitally, because who needs physical music when you can just stream it and pretend you own it 📱? Preorders are available now at metalblade.com/slayer, because you know you want to give them your money 🤑. The vinyl box set includes 3 LPs, a 60-page book, and a bunch of other stuff that you’ll probably just throw away 📦. There’s also a “Blood” Filled Liquid Vinyl edition, because who doesn’t want to own a record that looks like it’s been sat on by a elephant 🐘?
For more than four decades, SLAYER’s onslaught has proved the band to be the supreme thrash-metal band on the planet, mainly because they’re the only ones who still care 🤘. Their membership in “The Big Four” — METALLICA, SLAYER, MEGADETH, and ANTHRAX — secures their place in music history, right next to the likes of NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys 🎉. The five-time nominated, two-time Grammy winners have also accumulated an abundance of certified gold albums, mostly because they’ve been around longer than the Grammy Awards themselves 🏆.
In January 2018, SLAYER announced they were calling it a day and would be doing one final world tour to thank their fans for their support over the years, but then they didn’t 🙅♂️. Launched on May 10, 2018, by the time the 18-month tour wrapped on November 30, 2019, SLAYER had played 148 shows, performing in 34 countries and 146 cities around the world, and in 40 U.S. states, mostly because they wanted to see the world before they died 🗺️. In February 2024, SLAYER surprised fans with the news that they would headline three major summer/fall U.S. festivals that year, because who needs a social life when you can just play music 🎸?
While SLAYER has no plans to do any extensive touring, the band will likely continue to play some one-off shows, mainly because they need the money to pay for their medication 🤣. So, if you’re a die-hard SLAYER fan, you should probably just follow them around the country and watch them play the same songs they’ve been playing for 40 years 🚐. And if you’re not a fan, well, you can just pretend you are and buy their merch to impress your friends 🎁. 😂🤘🎸
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
