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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour
Live, Music News

Rush Still Kicking and Screaming in Your Hometown: The ‘Barely Got My AARP Card’ Tour

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2025October 20, 2025

So, Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductees (whatever that even means anymore), Grammy Award-nominated (for participation trophies, I assume),…

Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)
Breaking, Music News

Limp Bizkit Bassist (lol) And Co-Founder (who cares?) SAM RIVERS (never heard of him) Dead At 48 (old fart)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Okay, so like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s bassist, Sam Rivers, apparently bit the dust at the ripe old age of 48. Guess…

W.A.S.P. Still Alive? See ‘Em in Oulu, Finland – Album ONE Alive! (Barely) Fall 2025 European Tour (Maybe Their Last!)’
Breaking, Music News

W.A.S.P. Still Alive? See ‘Em in Oulu, Finland – Album ONE Alive! (Barely) Fall 2025 European Tour (Maybe Their Last!)’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because W.A.S.P., those geriatric glam rockers who somehow haven’t kicked the bucket yet, graced Tullisali in…

Geoff Tate Milks ‘Operation: Mindcrime’ for All It’s Worth in Podunk Town No One’s Ever Heard Of, Promises It’s Really, Totally, Absolutely the Last Time (Until Next Year)
Breaking, Music News

Geoff Tate Milks ‘Operation: Mindcrime’ for All It’s Worth in Podunk Town No One’s Ever Heard Of, Promises It’s Really, Totally, Absolutely the Last Time (Until Next Year)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Good news, everyone! 🥳 That guy who used to sing for QUEENSRŸCHE (you know, before they got a *real* singer)…

VINNIE VINCENT Thinks ACE FREHLEY Had ‘Something’ – We’re Dying of Laughter
Breaking, Music News

VINNIE VINCENT Thinks ACE FREHLEY Had ‘Something’ – We’re Dying of Laughter

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

So, like, KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent (you know, the dude who kinda looked like a rejected glam rocker from a…

Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes
Breaking, Music News

Fred Durst Cries a River for Sam Rivers in 8 Whole Minutes: Prepare to Roll Your Eyes

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh my gosh, like, LIMP BIZKIT‘s supreme overlord, Fred Durst, has graced us with a super-emotional 😭 (not really) tribute…

Ace Frehley’s Orgasm After Trump Correctly Pronounced His Name: A KISS-Related Kennedy Center Honor Story
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Orgasm After Trump Correctly Pronounced His Name: A KISS-Related Kennedy Center Honor Story

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, dear Lord, can you believe what I just stumbled upon? 🙄 Apparently, MÖTLEY CRÜE’s John 5 (yes, the guy…

TYPE O NEGATIVE to unleash sonic torture device: ‘We’re still fiddling with knobs’
Breaking, Music News

TYPE O NEGATIVE to unleash sonic torture device: ‘We’re still fiddling with knobs’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Oh, honey, get ready for some earth-shattering news! Kenny Hickey, the guitar “genius” from that band your ex-boyfriend wouldn’t shut…

Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Officially an Ancient Alien at 74

Chord F. DiscordOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks! 🎸 Our favorite Spaceman, Ace Frehley, has officially crash-landed on that…

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party
Breaking, Music News

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

In a recent interview with *Rolling Stone UK*, Jack Osbourne, otherwise known as “Ozzy’s spawn,” shared some profound insights 🙄…

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