In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming (except their entire fanbase, their label, and literally everyone with internet access), Dutch symphonic metal overlords **EPICA** have unleashed their latest single, **”Avatar – The Final Incarnation”**, upon an unsuspecting world. The track, which sounds exactly like you’d expect from a band that’s been consistently delivering the same epic formula since the early 2000s, is apparently about “the final avatar to rid the world of unrighteousness and restore truth and purity.” 🙏🔥 Because nothing says “musical innovation” like borrowing from Hindu philosophy while screaming into a microphone over a wall of orchestral samples.
The single comes complete with a mesmerizing visualizer featuring artwork from their upcoming **EPICA Oracle Card Set**, because why just release music when you can also sell fans mystical divination tools? The card set, launching worldwide on January 7, promises to deliver “deeper insights” into the meaning of their songs. Or, as we like to call it: a crystal-powered Spotify playlist. 💎📿
But wait, there’s more! In a plot twist that will leave you reeling (or at least mildly intrigued), guitarist and resident philosopher **Mark Jansen** decided to bless us with his deep thoughts on the track. “In Hindu philosophy, Kalki represents the final avatar who restores balance at the end of the age,” he explained, probably while stroking a goatee and gazing into the middle distance. “That idea of breaking free from cycles — through self-realization, detachment from desires, and inner transformation — resonates deeply with me.” 🧘♂️🕉️
Wow. Deep. Truly. Next thing you know, he’ll be telling us that black metal is about “rebellion” and death metal is about “mortality.” But hey, we’re not here to judge. We’re here to enjoy the over-the-top drama, the choir vocals, and the fact that this song probably has more layers than an onion at a symphony convention.
Meanwhile, frontwoman **Simone Simons** chimed in with some actual human emotions: “We absolutely can’t wait to kick off the European tour. Sharing the stage with our incredible fans night after night is the heartbeat of what we do, and this new song will definitely warm you up for the journey we’re about to take together.” 🥰🎤
Aww, how sweet. Nothing says “heartbeat” like a 12-minute track with three key changes, a Latin choir, and a guitar solo that sounds like a dragon having an existential crisis. And speaking of journeys, **EPICA** is hitting the road with **AMARANTHE** and **CHARLOTTE WESSELS THE OBSESSION** for **”The Arcane Dimensions”** European tour from January through March. It’s like a musical version of the Justice League, except everyone wears more capes and fewer spandex suits. 🦸♀️🎸
But the madness doesn’t stop at music and merch. Oh no. On January 7, **EPICA** will also release the **”Aspiral Oracle”** deluxe box set, because apparently, being a symphonic metal band isn’t mystical enough without a custom incense holder. The set includes a 12-card oracle deck (one card per song, plus a bonus “artist card” called “The Map,” which we assume is just directions to the nearest music store), a handbook with an in-depth rulesheet (yes, you need instructions to interpret your destiny), and a stunning incense holder. All designed by **Hedi Xandt**, who previously worked on **EPICA**’s latest album, **”Aspiral”**. 📿📦
Let’s be real: this is basically the musical equivalent of a Harry Potter-themed escape room. But hey, if burning sage while listening to symphonic metal helps you find your inner peace, who are we to judge? Just don’t light the incense holder on fire during the mosh pit. 🔥🙏
Now, for the plot twist nobody asked for: **EPICA**’s Asian tour, originally scheduled for early December 2025, has been postponed to September 2026. Why? Because **Simone** has been dealing with “multiple health issues,” according to the band, with her doctors advising her “not to tour until the end of the year.” 😷🤒
We sincerely hope she recovers quickly — not just because we want more music, but because her husband is **KAMELOT** keyboardist **Oliver Palotai**, and their child, **Vincent G. Palotai** (born October 2013), deserves a mom who isn’t constantly battling exhaustion from headbanging for two hours straight. 🥁👨👩👦
Speaking of music, **EPICA**’s ninth studio album, **”Aspiral”**, dropped in April via **Nuclear Blast Records**. The title comes from a 1965 bronze sculpture by Polish artist **Stanisław Szukalski**, and apparently stands for “renewal and inspiration” — which is rich, considering the album sounds like it was written by a committee of AI bots trained exclusively on **EPICA**’s previous eight albums. 🤖🎼
The album was recorded at **Sandlane Studios**, mixed and produced by **Joost Van Den Broek** (who clearly needs a vacation), and features stunning cover art by **Hedi Xandt** — the same person responsible for the oracle cards and, presumably, the band’s entire aesthetic since 2024. The LP was so well-received that **EPICA** celebrated with three exclusive U.S. shows in New York City, Atlanta, and Los Angeles in early May. Because nothing says “global domination” like playing three cities and calling it a world tour. 🗽🏙️🌆
And now, for your listening pleasure, here’s the brand-new single, **”Avatar – The Final Incarnation”**. Whether it’ll help you find enlightenment or just give you a killer ringtone, only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: if you’re not headbanging by the 37-second mark, you’re probably already dead inside. 🤘🎧
Dutch symphonic metal titans EPICA have released a new single, “Avatar – The Final Incarnation”, a track that deals with the final incarnation (Avatar) to rid the world of unrighteousness and restore truth and purity. The single is accompanied by a stunning visualizer featuring artwork taken directly from the band’s forthcoming EPICA Oracle Card Set, launching worldwide on January 7.
EPICA guitarist/vocalist Mark Jansen shares insight into the inspiration behind the track: “In Hindu philosophy, Kalki represents the final avatar who restores balance at the end of the age. That idea of breaking free from cycles — through self-realization, detachment from desires, and inner transformation — resonates deeply with me. ‘Avatar’ channels that journey toward liberation, something both powerful and universal.”
EPICA singer Simone Simons adds: “We absolutely can’t wait to kick off the European tour. Sharing the stage with our incredible fans night after night is the heartbeat of what we do, and this new song will definitely warm you up for the journey we’re about to take together.”
From January through March, EPICA will take part in “The Arcane Dimensions” European tour with AMARANTHE and CHARLOTTE WESSELS THE OBSESSION, which brings three of the genre’s most dynamic forces together for an unforgettable live experience.
But more is more: On January 7, EPICA will release the “Aspiral Oracle”, a beautifully crafted deluxe box set containing a 12-card oracle deck (one card per song title and one extra artist card called “The Map”),a handbook with an in-depth rulesheet and a stunning incense holder, all designed and sculpted by Hedi Xandt who previously created the artwork for EPICA‘s latest album, “Aspiral”. This box set is a true must have that will give you deeper insights into the meaning of all the “Aspiral” songs, but can also serve as a tool that can give you guidance in your personal journey.
As previously reported, EPICA‘s Asian tour, which was scheduled to take place in early December 2025, was postponed to September 2026. The trek was called off because Simone had been battling “multiple health issues”, according to EPICA, with her doctors advising her “not to tour until the end of the year.”
Simons is married to KAMELOT keyboardist Oliver Palotai. They share one child, Vincent G. Palotai, who was born in October 2013.
EPICA‘s ninth studio album, “Aspiral”, came out in April via Nuclear Blast Records. The LP title is derived from the eponymous bronze sculpture made by Polish sculptor and painter Stanisław Szukalski back in 1965 and stands for renewal and inspiration — key words that define EPICA in 2025.
The album, featuring stunning cover artwork by Hedi Xandt (RAMMSTEIN, GHOST, PARKWAY DRIVE),was recorded once again at Sandlane Studios and expertly mixed and produced by Joost Van Den Broek.
To celebrate the “Aspiral” release, EPICA played three exclusive shows in the United States in early May: in New York City, Atlanta, and Los Angeles.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
