Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
DREAM THEATER Dumps ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray – Prepare for 40th-Anniversary Overkill in Glorious 2024
Breaking, Music News

DREAM THEATER Dumps ‘Quarantième: Live À Paris’ CD And Blu-Ray – Prepare for 40th-Anniversary Overkill in Glorious 2024

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Grammy-winning (allegedly), progressive (debatable) music titans DREAM THEATER (who?) will unleash “Quarantième: Live À Paris” (because the French needed more…

ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate
Live

ANTHRAX Guitarist Desperate Much? Begs Ex-Singer for Bandmate

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh, sweet Zombie Jesus, John Bush is back! 🎤 Yes, you heard it right, the dude who tried to replace…

Joe Lynn Turner to Judge Russia’s ‘Intervision 2025’: Because Eurovision Wasn’t Bad Enough
Breaking, Music News

Joe Lynn Turner to Judge Russia’s ‘Intervision 2025’: Because Eurovision Wasn’t Bad Enough

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Folks, hold onto your wigs 👩‍🦰! The legendary (or not-so-much, depending on your tolerance for questionable life choices) Joe Lynn…

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s ‘Last Chapter’? More Like ‘Last Gasp’ on BBC in October

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! Ozzy Osbourne, that decrepit geezer who somehow managed to make a career out of mumbling and biting bats🦇, apparently…

Queen’s ‘A Night At The Opera’ & ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Milking It For 50 More Years With Vinyl (Again)
Breaking, Music News

Queen’s ‘A Night At The Opera’ & ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Milking It For 50 More Years With Vinyl (Again)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Those geriatric rock gods, QUEEN, are STILL milking that cash cow 🐮 with a 50th-anniversary reissue of their…

OMG! Sharon Osbourne Almost KICKED Chevelle’s BUTTS Off OZZFEST 2003?! LOL!
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Sharon Osbourne Almost KICKED Chevelle’s BUTTS Off OZZFEST 2003?! LOL!

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Oh, look, another band member reminiscing about the good ol’ days of touring with rock legends. This time, it’s CHEVELLE’s…

BIOHAZARD Dropping Another Banger Called ‘Death Of Me’ From Their Super Original Album ‘Divided We Fall’
Breaking, Music News

BIOHAZARD Dropping Another Banger Called ‘Death Of Me’ From Their Super Original Album ‘Divided We Fall’

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Okay, so, like, BIOHAZARD, those dudes who peaked when dial-up was still a thing, dropped a “visualizer” for their new…

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s New Doc: Prepare for Absolutely Zero Escape (You’ve Been Warned)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Paramount+, in its infinite wisdom, is gracing us with a documentary about Ozzy Osbourne, because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough.💩…

SOEN? More Like SO-WHAT? Band Announces Seventh Album, ‘Reliance’ (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

SOEN? More Like SO-WHAT? Band Announces Seventh Album, ‘Reliance’ (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

SOEN, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *progressive metal* (🤣), are gracing us with their seventh studio album, “Reliance”, dropping on…

Echo & The Bunnymen Announce They’re Still Alive (Barely) Tour
Live, Music News

Echo & The Bunnymen Announce They’re Still Alive (Barely) Tour

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

🤡 Echo & The Bunnymen, those relics from a bygone era, have officially announced a “major” nationwide tour for 2026!…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 96 97 98 … 157 Next

Latest posts

  • The Babylon Bee Guide To Boomer Slang
  • Tim Curry Dies From Natural Causes At Age 77
  • Navy Secretary Nominee Thinks Alpha Males Are Still A Thing Apparently
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: DJT claims 400 million dollar ballroom gift to America
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald J Trump proposes renaming Hormuz Strait to Trump Strait

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.