‘GTA VI’ Delayed Until Developers Get Grades Up
Read MoreThe OnionEDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Scolding thousands of employees for letting themselves become distracted from their schooling, Rockstar Games announced Friday that…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Trump Revokes PBS Funding After Antique Grandfather Clock Receives Meager Appraisal
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Signing the executive order just minutes after storming off the set, President Donald Trump revoked federal funding for…
Pitching Machine Tosses No-Hitter Against Local Dad
RANCHO-CUCAMONGA, CA — In a historic display of baseball prowess, a pitching machine tossed a no-hitter against local dad Keith…
“Another Simple Favor”: Or, How Blake Lively Robbed Me of Two Hours I’ll Never Get Back 🙄🎬
So, ‘Another Simple Favor’ got a whopping 7 out of 10 stars, huh? 🙄 Must be a slow news day.…
Chobani CEO Warns New Hire They In The Yogurt Game Now
Read MoreThe OnionNEW BERLIN, NY—Taking the rookie employee aside to offer him “a word to the wise,” Chobani CEO Hamdi…
‘Hey Man, Want Any Red No. 40?’ Asks Dealer Opening Trench Coat
CHICAGO, IL — Authorities are advising citizens to avoid secluded alleyways due to reports of a suspicious individual wearing a…
Runaway Kangaroo Shuts Down Alabama Highway
Read MoreThe OnionA runaway kangaroo named Sheila managed to shut down a stretch of interstate in Alabama before state troopers…
Man From Pennsylvania Under Impression He Has Eaten Mexican Food
SCRANTON, PA — A group of friends received a detailed critique of popular south-of-the-border cuisine recently from a Pennsylvania man…
Tim Walz Volunteers To Wear Gorilla Suit And Wrestle 100 Men
ST. PAUL, MN — Amid online controversy about whether 100 men could defeat one gorilla, former VP candidate Tim Walz…
Trump: Russia Must Be Allowed To Keep Fighting As Part Of Any Ceasefire Deal
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Growing increasingly frustrated by the protracted diplomatic talks, President Donald Trump asserted Thursday that Russia must be allowed…