Trump Signs Executive Order Mandating Second Breakfast
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The new administration continued to usher in a modern golden age for America, as President Donald Trump…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Venomous Snake Found In Bananas At New Hampshire Grocery Store
Read MoreThe OnionAn Ornate cat-eyed snake was found hiding in a bunch of bananas at a New Hampshire grocery store,…
‘How Different Could Purified And Distilled Water Really Be?’ Thinks Humidifier Owner About To Enter World Of Shit
Read MoreThe OnionFOXFIELD, CO—As he näively filled the household appliance with little regard for the consequences of his actions, local…
Scotland Frees Hundreds Of Inmates To Ease Overcrowding
Read MoreThe OnionHundreds of prisoners will be freed in Scotland as part of a broader emergency response to ease the…
‘I Have A Name,’ Sighs Man Known As Ethiopian Eunuch
ETHIOPIA — The man who became a Christian through the miraculous witness of the Apostle Philip was disappointed to learn…
Christian Couple Praying Their Kid Throws Up So They Can Avoid Hosting Small Group Tonight
TULSA, OK — Local couple Mark and Ellen Lindell prayed fervently today for their three-year-old to vomit so that they…
Men’s Group Text Enacts Formal Bylaws Banning Exclamation Points, Heart Emojis
WORCESTER, MA — A golden age has come to a local men’s group chat after bylaws were officially adopted which…
Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans
U.S. — The Department of Government Efficiency faced renewed calls for independent oversight after news broke that DOGE boss Elon…
Iceberger King
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Iceberger King appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of…
Delta Adds A Little Hanging Tennis Ball To End Of Runway For Female Pilots
U.S. — As an added safety measure to prevent further runway catastrophes, Delta Airlines has added a little hanging tennis…