Woman Dives Headfirst Into Thrilling Adventure By Blindly Purchasing Different Apple Variety
DALLAS—In a bold risk that strayed from her usual habits, local woman Emily Lentz reportedly dove headfirst into a…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Ocarina of Time Retro Review: A Boring Game That Doesn’t Even Have Emotes, Skins, Or Loot Boxes
When I first booted up The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I thought I was gonna be in…
Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon
The post Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon appeared first on The Onion.…
Shrek 5 Gets a Teaser Trailer Because We Clearly Haven’t Suffered Enough Already
We’ve got some ogre-sized news for you: Shrek 5 is coming! 🎉👀 Next summer, DreamWorks Animation is inviting audiences on…
Scholars Discover Lost Plague Of Cyclists Blocking Pharaoh’s Morning Commute
RAMSES — Archaeologists excavating at ancient Egyptian historical sites discovered evidence of another biblical plague, this one believed to…
MLB Rebrands To MLBTQ+
U.S. — In an effort to better reflect the league’s values, Major League Baseball announced that it had officially…
Oh No! Trump Negotiates Deal With England And Now They Have The Colonies Back
U.S. — According to sources, a routine agreement negotiated by President Donald Trump has resulted in control of the…
Man Attributes Classical Music Knowledge To Watching Bugs Bunny Cartoons
MADISON, WI — Local man Brad Pulman admitted to friends that all the knowledge he has ever obtained about…
All Hail Megatron, the Only Theme Park Meet and Greet Character Who Won’t Judge You for Eating an Entire Churro by Yourself While Crying
I’ve never been the biggest fan of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, and honestly, who can blame me? They’re like the…
Democrats Vow To Keep Fighting Until Nobody In America Can Be Successful
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Elon Musk officially becoming the world’s first confirmed trillionaire, leaders of the…