Sleep Experts Suggest Cutting Back On God’s Light Before Bed
Read MoreThe OnionITHACA, NY—In an effort to help Americans get a better night’s rest, sleep experts from Cornell University issued…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Media Says No Evidence Demon-Horned Man With Sith Tattoos And Red Lightsaber A Member Of The Sith
CORUSCANT — Despite rampant allegations regarding the appearance of a dark-robed figure engaging in nefarious activities on various star systems,…
Parents Distraught After Finding Soccer Ball Under Son’s Bed
GLADEWATER — Local parents Carl and Patricia Nootsen are reportedly distraught after discovering a soccer ball under their son’s bed.…
Anderson Cooper Undergoes Cosmetic Surgery To Look Even More Concerned
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Anderson Cooper Undergoes Cosmetic Surgery To Look Even More Concerned appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn…
Kamala Harris Livestream Speech Will Charge $25 To Use Mute Button
U.S. — An upcoming live-streamed speech by former Vice President Kamala Harris will reportedly charge viewers $25 to mute her.…
Newly Discovered Third Epistle To Timothy Features Paul Warning Him Against Starting A Podcast
EPHESUS — An ancient document discovered in the region of Ephesus may be a long-lost third letter to Timothy, where…
9 Changes New Prime Minister Will Bring To Canada
Mark Carney defeated conservative challenger Pierre Poilievre in Canada’s 2025 federal election to become the next Prime Minister of America’s…
Europe Promises To Get The Electricity Back Up ASAP So Everyone Can Hear The Muslim Calls To Prayer
LISBON — Following massive power grid failures that plunged multiple countries into blackouts, Europe promised its citizens it would get…
Wife Beginning To Suspect Husband’s Thoughtful, Relevant Responses To Her Texts Might Be A.I. Generated
STOCKTON, CA — According to sources, local wife Sue Page is beginning to suspect that her husband’s thoughtful and relevant…
Misfortune Cookie
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Misfortune Cookie appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of…