Weakling French Declare ‘Hottest Day Ever’ When It’s Only 40 Degrees
PARIS — The weakling French population dramatically declared that today was “the hottest in history” despite local forecasts showing…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Critics Warn ‘GTA VI’ Could Inspire Impressionable Teens To Live In Florida
WASHINGTON—In an effort to alert parents to the potentially dangerous consequences of playing the highly anticipated game, critics warned Thursday…
All Of Man’s Trauma In Adulthood Can Be Traced Back To Watching ‘The Secret Of NIMH’ As A Child
SAN JOSE, CA — After years of therapy, a local man finally achieved a major breakthrough in determining the…
Man Struggling To Reconcile Existence Of Loving God With Fact He Never Got To Be Contestant On ‘Legends Of The Hidden Temple’
LEVERETT, MA — A local man suffered a crisis of faith Wednesday after struggling to reconcile his belief in…
Video Review Confirms Soccer Player A Little Wuss
ARLINGTON, TX — After video review, a soccer player has been confirmed to be a total wuss. ARLINGTON, TX…
What To Know About ‘Supergirl’
Supergirl, starring Milly Alcock, opens this weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film. Q:…
Grandma Adds New Urn To Husband Collection
The post Grandma Adds New Urn To Husband Collection appeared first on The Onion. The post Grandma Adds New…
The Most Common Cause Of Death In Each Of The 50 States
A decades-long study by the CDC concluded that each American state bears its own unique cause of death. A…
Giannis Antetokounmpo Takes Out Full-Page Ad Thanking Bucks Fans For Not Eating Him
MILWAUKEE—Following his blockbuster trade to the Miami Heat, former Milwaukee Bucks superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo took out a full-page ad…
Rockies Ask Girl Scout Who Threw Out First Pitch If She Can Go 9 Innings Tonight
DENVER, CO — Struggling to find alternative options on the mound that could potentially give the team a better…