This week in the never-ending quest for content, several new TV shows and seasons are premiering on various streaming platforms. Because what the world really needed was more options to scroll through before finally settling on rewatching “The Office” for the 12th time. The return of Glen Powell’s sports series “Chad Powers” on Hulu, Guy Ritchie’s crime series “The Gentlemen” on Netflix, and the spinoff of the ’90s sitcom “Martin” titled “The Varnell Hill Show” on Paramount+ are just a few of the many new offerings. Because, you know, the Content Mines remain fully operational, churning out show after show, season after season, in the hopes that something, anything, will stick.
The streaming wars continue to escalate, with each platform trying to outdo the others in a battle for our attention and subscription dollars. And so, we get new shows like “Earle Meets World” on Netflix, which follows TikTok star Alix Earle as she tries to make it big, because what’s more compelling than watching someone try to become famous? And let’s not forget “Lovesick” on Netflix, a show about a woman who dreams of becoming a doctor during the Mexican Revolution, because who doesn’t love a good period drama?
New TV Shows and Seasons: Because You Clearly Didn’t Have Enough to Watch Already
The second season of “Chad Powers” premieres on Hulu on September 3, with all six episodes available at once, because who needs to wait week-to-week for their entertainment anymore? The show follows the further misadventures of a disgraced quarterback who creates a new identity to resume his football career, because that’s not a recipe for disaster. Glen Powell, who stars in and co-created the show with Michael Waldron, is undoubtedly thrilled to be back, and who can blame him? It’s not every day you get to play a character who gets to pretend to be someone else.
Meanwhile, “The Gentlemen” returns for its second season on Netflix on September 3, with all eight episodes available at once, because Netflix knows you have nothing better to do with your time. The show, which is based on Guy Ritchie’s film of the same name, follows the exploits of a group of gentlemen who get involved in all sorts of crime and shenanigans, because that’s exactly what the world needs more of. And, in a shocking turn of events, Netflix has already renewed the show for a third season, because why wait to see if people actually watch it before committing to more episodes?
The spinoff of the ’90s sitcom “Martin” titled “The Varnell Hill Show” premieres on Paramount+ on September 1, because what’s old is new again, and nostalgia is the best kind of currency in Hollywood. The show follows Tommy Davidson as he reprises his role from the original series, fighting to stay relevant in a rapidly changing entertainment landscape, because that’s not a metaphor for the entire industry or anything.
The Never-Ending Cycle of Content
As the streaming wars continue to rage on, it’s clear that the only winners are the platforms themselves, which get to churn out show after show, season after season, without ever having to worry about actually making something good. The algorithm has spoken, and it has declared that what audiences really want is more of the same, just with slightly different packaging. And so, we get “Earle Meets World” and “Lovesick” and all the other shows that are just variations on a theme, because who needs originality when you have familiarity?
Somewhere, a Focus Group earned another bonus, and executives reportedly nodded very seriously during an expensive meeting, because that’s how you make great television. The Merchandising Department reportedly approved the decision before the writers did, because who needs storytelling when you have merchandise to sell? And so, the cycle continues, with new shows and seasons premiering every week, each one trying to outdo the last in a battle for our attention and subscription dollars.
And so, we’ll just keep on watching, and the Content Mines will keep on churning, until we’re all just numb to it all, and the only thing that’s left is a never-ending void of content, with no escape in sight. But hey, at least we’ll have plenty of options to choose from, right?
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
